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Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environmental responsibility while others believe that tourists should not accept any responsibility at all. v.3

Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environmental responsibility while others believe that tourists should not accept any responsibility at all. v. 3
I totally agree with the view that tourists should accept responsibilities towards the social and environmental culture of the country where they visit. I believe that if they undertake responsibilities, only then healthy tourism can be provided. Firstly, every country has its own culture which attracts tourism and tourists want to experience their cultural values and norms. So, if they deny being responsible enough to follow them, there is no use of travel to such countries. For instance, Golden Temple in Punjab (India) is a very popular religious place where every devotee has to cover their head and pay respect. In case tourists would not follow the rules, they will not be welcomed by temple devotees and local community. Secondly, In the case of the environment, it is extremely important for tourists to be aware of every place where the intending to travel. Every attraction has its rules to follow to keep tourists safe as some beaches have deep water level, some have shark endanger areas and so on. They should not be making beaches and harbours filthy. Recently, at Wellington Harbour, the council has to spend half a million to remove debris which could cause danger to sea creatures and natural beauty of the city. If the country has to face heavy expense to retain its natural beauty then it would not provide healthy tourism. Finally, I would like to say that tourists should do research about the country they are planning to visit before they travel to have an enjoyable experience for both sides which will promote good relations among tourists and countries. In conclusion, host countries always try to give the best experience to the visiting tourists as this is a major source of earning for many countries. However, being adherent to some simple rules and tradition by the tourists would be always positive in terms of keeping a safe and healthy environment and to avoid cultural and traditional contradictions between the tourists and host countries.
I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should accept responsibilities towards the social and environmental culture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where they visit. I believe that if they undertake responsibilities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then healthy tourism can
be provided
.

Firstly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture which attracts tourism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
want to experience their cultural values and norms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if they deny being responsible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to follow them, there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of travel to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, Golden Temple in Punjab (India) is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular religious place where every devotee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
cover their head and pay respect. In case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
would not follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, they will not
be welcomed
by temple devotees and local community.

Secondly
, In the case of the environment, it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to be aware of every place where the intending to travel. Every attraction has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to follow to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
safe as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beaches have deep water level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have shark endanger areas and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They should not be making beaches and
Possible spelling mistake. 'harbours' is British English.
harbours
filthy. Recently, at Wellington
Possible spelling mistake. 'Harbour' is British English.
Harbour
, the council
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend half a million to remove debris which could cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to sea creatures and natural beauty of the city. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face heavy expense to retain its natural beauty then it would not provide healthy tourism.

Finally
, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should do research about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they are planning to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they travel to have an enjoyable experience for both sides which will promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relations among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and countries.

In conclusion
, host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
always try to give the best experience to the visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
as this is a major source of earning for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, being adherent to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and tradition by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
would be always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in terms of keeping a safe and healthy environment and to avoid cultural and traditional contradictions between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environmental responsibility while others believe that tourists should not accept any responsibility at all. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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