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Advertising encourages consumers to buy in quantity rather than in quality. v.1

Advertising encourages consumers to buy in quantity rather than in quality. v. 1
Advertisements play an important role in informing individuals about the availability of products. Thus, they are the primary source of information and motivating people for shopping. However, I believe that adverts encourage individuals to purchase items in bulk. In this essay, we will analyse how adverts make use of offers for persuading people in buying products in wholesale. To begin with, most of the companies provide some deals on buying more number of objects. A good illustration for this is the lux company which agrees to give soap free on purchase of two soaps. By advertising such proposals, people are induced for buying extra soaps than actually required. Thus, it is apparent that the aim of such proposition is to invoke people for acquiring objects in large number rather than quality products. In addition, some companies provide some prizes on buying their product. For instance, they announce a free abroad trip for those who are able to find a hidden code on the cover of the item. With the hope of getting an opportunity to travel abroad, individuals keep on buying the product either until the offer is expired or until they win a trip. Therefore, the theory of adverts focusing on selling products in large number is difficult to debunk. After analysing the purpose of adverts, it is obvious that by offering gifts they provoke society in buying excess things rather than quality. As it is seen that people prefer shopping those goods which provide some gifts rather than the goods of good quality. It is hoped that government will enforce some regulations on the adverts for the product for declaring unnecessary gifts.
Advertisements play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in informing individuals about the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Thus
, they are the primary source of information and motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for shopping.
However
, I believe that adverts encourage individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items in bulk. In this essay, we will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
how adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of offers for persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in wholesale.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deals on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
more number of objects. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
illustration for this is the lux
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to give soap free on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of two soaps. By advertising such proposals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are induced
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
extra soaps than actually required.
Thus
, it is apparent that the aim of such proposition is to invoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for acquiring objects in large number
rather
than quality products.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prizes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For instance
, they announce a free abroad trip for those who are able to find a hidden code on the cover of the item. With the hope of getting an opportunity to travel abroad, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
either until the offer
is expired
or until they win a trip.
Therefore
, the theory of adverts focusing on selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in large number is difficult to debunk.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the purpose of adverts, it is obvious that by offering gifts they provoke society in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
excess things
rather
than quality.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer shopping those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gifts
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality. It
is hoped
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will enforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations on the adverts for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for declaring unnecessary gifts.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising encourages consumers to buy in quantity rather than in quality. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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