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Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and gives your opinion. v.4

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. v. 4
With the rapid growth of the population, people discovered many places in the forests and mountains which are different for normal cultures like old art paintings etc. Many people who want to explore these places and cultures often need the permission from local governments. Some people believe that local tourism should be banned due to its significance and importance. However, I completely disagree with this statement and in this essay I will discuss some reasons to support my opinion. Firstly, Tourism increases money and significance of cultures. What I mean by this is that tourists buy permits, visas and local goods when they visit any tourist place which helps in the growth of revenue. Moreover, most of the revenues generated, are used for the local developments and maintenance. For Example, Taj Mahal is being visited by thousands of people every year, generating huge revenues for local bodies. Additionally, tourism generates more jobs to local people, I mean that tourists who visit any place requires stay, travel and food. For Instance, people who visit for the Taj Mahal should travel to the nearest city by air and then by road to reach the destination also should have local food. This direct effect of income from tourism, highly benefits local people. Furthermore, tourism boosts significance of old traditions with huge popularity and media coverage. Turning on to the other side of the argument, many people think that tourism often affects their culture and customs. They believe that with popularity, their values and traditions are changing completely to cope with flooding tourists. In addition to this many people who travel have a habit of misbehaving with the monuments or the paintings or the place they visit marking the way for bans. For Example, A tree in the middle of the Sahara desert was cut down by the visitor making the place treeless. In conclusion, although tourism benefits and increase revenues for governments, it should be protected and maintained. One to know the responsibility and importance of the place they visit. People also should be given adequate rules before they visit. In my opinion, benefit in the form of generating huge revenues will overcome all other outcomes. Finally, tourism should not be banned and it should not affect the local traditions as well.
With the rapid growth of the population,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
discovered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the forests and mountains which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
art paintings etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to explore these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
need the permission from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should
be banned
due to its significance and importance.
However
, I completely disagree with this statement and in this essay I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to support my opinion.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
increases money and significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. What I mean by this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
permits, visas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
generated, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
developments and maintenance.
For Example
, Taj Mahal is
being visited
by thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
every year, generating huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
bodies.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
generates more jobs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
requires stay, travel and food.

For Instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
for the Taj Mahal should travel to the nearest city by air and then by road to reach the destination
also
should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
food. This direct effect of income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
,
highly
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
boosts significance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditions with huge popularity and media coverage.

Turning on to the other side of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
affects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and customs. They believe that with popularity, their values and traditions are changing completely to cope with flooding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
In addition
to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travel have a habit of misbehaving with the monuments or the paintings or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
marking the way for bans.
For Example
, A tree in the middle of the Sahara desert was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down by the visitor making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
treeless.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
benefits and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, it should
be protected
and maintained. One to know the responsibility and importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
adequate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
. In my opinion, benefit in the form of generating huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
will overcome all other outcomes.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should not
be banned
and it should not affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traditions
as well
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
379 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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