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Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. v. 2
Nowadays, a group of people think that to conserve native culture, should be prohibited in some places while some people believe that alternation is unavoidable and banned tourism will have no profit. In my opinion travel should not to forbidden since it is benefits outweigh drawbacks. On one side of the argument, there are various reasons why some people think that tourism should be prevented. Firstly, it can be clearly seen that one of the most significant factors is environmental damage. Moreover, actually detrimental effect tourism, which results in the contamination in these sites. Secondly, other factors which must be considered is culturally traditional. Furthermore, visiting these areas of travel can change custom and native language. Thirdly, citizens living around attractions probably are disturbed by traveler who would make a noise as well as litter garbage on the road. Despite the above arguments, I am of the view that it is a positive method if we allow the people visiting these areas it comes with multitude advantages. Nevertheless, recent research has shown that in the tourism season travel industry can help local economy for these places. In other words, it means that tourism can provide financial problems and also make job opportunities for citizens of these areas. For instance, hotels, restaurants, ticket for historic places. It ascertains why tourism becomes truly instrumental in the state and community. In conclusion, although preventing the tourism can eliminate pollution and difference tradition. I personally believe that tourism can improvement economy problems and make a profit.
Nowadays, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to conserve native culture, should
be prohibited
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that alternation is unavoidable and banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will have no profit. In my opinion travel should not to forbidden since it is benefits outweigh drawbacks.

On one side of the argument, there are various reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.
Firstly
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that one of the most significant factors is environmental damage.
Moreover
, actually detrimental effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, which results in the contamination in these sites.
Secondly
, other factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
is
culturally
traditional.
Furthermore
, visiting these areas of travel can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
custom and native language.
Thirdly
, citizens living around attractions
probably
are disturbed
by traveler who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a noise
as well
as litter garbage on the road.

Despite the above arguments, I am of the view that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
method if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting these areas it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with multitude advantages.
Nevertheless
, recent research has shown that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
season travel industry can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
local economy for these places.
In other words
, it means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can provide financial problems and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
job opportunities for citizens of these areas.
For instance
, hotels, restaurants, ticket for historic places. It ascertains why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
becomes
truly
instrumental in the state and community.

In conclusion
, although preventing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can eliminate pollution and difference tradition. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can improvement economy problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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