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Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. v. 1
One of common question having merged since several decades ago is that what type effects had the toursim on their local people in their destination. Some local people claim that the toursim's habits permeate to their community so we should constrain their contact with our local people. The proponents of this vision say that this idea completely wrong because the world increasing interdependence on each other. Firstly, it can be deniable that some cultures have lost intrinsic part of their tradition, so some people attribute that for tourism. In other words, people of these cultures believe that travellers have gradually changed their traditional heritage in several aspects. For example, in last century, while it was clear that they're a strong feminist movement in western culture, the women in the Middle East were still constrained by men. Then, after a lot of Europeans and Amircanas people visited the Middle East, the Arabic women started to apply their right. As a result, ideological Arabic blamed these toursim because they encouraged the Arabic women to rebel against their tradition. Consequently, they called to close their border against the tourism movement. On the other hand, there is a vision says that it is difficult to isolate any society from another part for several reasons. The contemporary world has complex interrelations between different nations, so every country need another. For example, it seems impossible for people to live without electronics advices, producing in us. S. A or China, having a need for everything; such as, health, educational, or productive purposes. Moreover, this internet also will connect you with the external society, meaning you will be in touch with foreign people. Even though if there are no toursim, you you keep connected with foreign people having the same effect as toursim. Finally, if you closed your boarder, you will stay in connect with foreign people. In conclusion, even though some people blame the tourism for changing happening in their society, and they suggest to close their residential area to protect their social behaviour. In contrast, others refuse close boarder because the modern world need incorporate between us and we cannot isolate ourselves. I completely refuse to restrict the tourism movement because it is the impractical way to keep your traditional heritage.
One of common question having merged since several decades ago is that what type effects had the
Possible spelling mistake found.
toursim
on their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their destination.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
toursim
's habits permeate to their community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should constrain their contact with our local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The proponents of this vision say that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the world increasing interdependence on each other.

Firstly
, it can be deniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures have lost intrinsic part of their tradition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attribute that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of these cultures believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
have
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their traditional heritage in several aspects.
For example
, in last century, while it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that they're a strong feminist movement in western culture, the women in the Middle East were
still
constrained by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Then, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Europeans and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amircanas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited the Middle East, the Arabic women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to apply their right.
As a result
, ideological Arabic blamed these
Possible spelling mistake found.
toursim
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they encouraged the Arabic women to rebel against their tradition.
Consequently
, they called to close their border against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
movement.

On the other hand
, there is a vision says that it is difficult to isolate any society from another part for several reasons. The contemporary world has complex interrelations between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every country need another.
For example
, it seems impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without electronics advices, producing in us. S. A or China, having a need for everything; such as, health, educational, or productive purposes.
Moreover
, this internet
also
will connect you with the external society, meaning you will be in touch with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Even though
if there are no
Possible spelling mistake found.
toursim
,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
you you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
connected with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having the same effect as
Possible spelling mistake found.
toursim
.
Finally
, if you closed your boarder, you will stay in connect with foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
blame the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
for changing happening in their society, and they
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest closing".
suggest to close
their residential area to protect their social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
In contrast
, others refuse close boarder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the modern world need incorporate between
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
we cannot isolate ourselves. I completely refuse to restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
movement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the impractical way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your traditional heritage.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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