Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer v.2

People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer v. 2
It is irrefutable that most workers, now choosing a freelance work despite being employed for some company. This essay will intend to analyze why this is happening and provide some possible drawbacks for it. There are ample reasons why many people opt to be self-employed. The predominant reason is that people think that working for random organizations, which cannot proffer any benefits to them. These workers cannot gain more knowledge as they have to work with their colleagues. Secondly, these people do not want to work under the stipulated hours. For example, one survey done by Forbes claims that 56% of employees have become a freelancer to work freely. Moreover, they want to spend precious time with the family members, which only happen, if they will work as a freelancer. Thus, self-employed professions are selected more. However, this development has some drawbacks too. Firstly, success cannot be guaranteed. Sometimes, as a self-employed, it is hard to find the work. Because there are so many people who are working as a freelancer. As a result, competition is also increased. The second demerit is that income could not be satisfied with the workers. To this, they have to face worse situations. For instance, in the present days, 13% of people who work as a self-employed are tackling with the problem of bankruptcy. Consequently, the disadvantages cannot be ignored. In conclusion, while there are people who opt to be a freelancer for their advantages, such type of progress has disadvantages too. It could be negligible if people work effectively.
It is irrefutable that most workers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
choosing a freelance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
despite
being employed
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This essay will intend to analyze why this is happening and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible drawbacks for it.

There are ample reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt to be self-employed. The predominant reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working for random organizations, which cannot proffer any benefits to them. These workers cannot gain more knowledge as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with their colleagues.
Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under the stipulated hours.
For example
, one survey done by Forbes claims that 56% of employees have become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freelancer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
freely
.
Moreover
, they want to spend precious time with the family members, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen, if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freelancer
.
Thus
, self-employed professions
are selected
more.

However
, this development has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks too.
Firstly
, success cannot
be guaranteed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, as a self-employed, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are working as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freelancer
.
As a result
, competition is
also
increased. The second demerit is that income could not
be satisfied
with the workers. To this, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face worse situations.
For instance
, in the present days, 13% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a self-employed are tackling with the problem of bankruptcy.
Consequently
, the disadvantages cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

In conclusion
, while there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who opt to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freelancer
for their advantages, such type of progress has disadvantages too. It could be negligible if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts