Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe the two different cities that you have visited before. Include reasons and examples to support your response. v.1

Describe the two different cities that you have visited before. Include reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1
It is undeniable that technology has permeated every aspect of our lives. The ubiquity of modern devices has been instrumental in the remarkable improvement in living standards over the past few decades. However, some people argue that truly groundbreaking innovations are behind us, and the benefits of the latest technologies pale in comparison to those of old. While this may be true to some extent, I believe the nature of the changes created by recent technological advancements are different, and thus it is pointless to compare the two. It is understandable why some people subscribe to the view that early technologies were more life-changing. This is due to the unprecedented leap in productivity and, by extension, wealth that these innovations brought about. For example, prior to the advent of earth-shattering invention like electricity, people are mainly manual labour workers and thus the amount of production is very low. But when electric power was invented, their production output has been witnessed an exponential increase leading to improve their living standards. Given the radical changes created by innovation, it seems sensible why many are saying that the latest innovations cannot match the ones conceived early on. Despite the aforementioned advantages, it would be imprudent to undermine the contribution of our latest breakthroughs. While the increase in work efficiency that they offer may seem marginal, new innovations have drastically transformed into other sides of our lives. For instance, the coming of the Internet has ushered in an era where knowledge is at everybody’s disposal. By providing a wealth of precious information, it helps people broaden their knowledge and promotes many indispensable fields such as medical treatments, education and communication, which really has profound impact on human’s lives. In conclusion, I am convinced that both early and recent progress in technology contributes to the betterment of our lives for many reasons above.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has permeated every aspect of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The ubiquity of modern devices has been instrumental in the remarkable improvement in living standards over the past few decades.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
truly
groundbreaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
are behind us, and the benefits of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
pale
in comparison
to those of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. While this may be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I believe the nature of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
created by recent technological advancements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, and
thus
it is pointless to compare the two.

It is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
subscribe to the view that early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
were more life-changing. This is due to the unprecedented leap in productivity and, by extension, wealth that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
brought about.
For example
, prior to the advent of earth-shattering invention like electricity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mainly
manual
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
workers and
thus
the amount of production is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when electric power
was invented
, their production output has
been witnessed
an exponential increase leading to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standards.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the radical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
created by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovation
, it seems sensible why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are saying that the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
cannot match the ones conceived early on.

Despite the aforementioned advantages, it would be imprudent to undermine the contribution of our latest breakthroughs. While the increase in work efficiency that they offer may seem marginal, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
innovations
have
drastically
transformed into other sides of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, the coming of the Internet has ushered in an era where knowledge is at everybody’s disposal. By providing a wealth of precious information, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
broaden their knowledge and promotes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
indispensable fields such as medical treatments, education and communication, which
really
has profound impact on human’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that both early and recent progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
contributes to the betterment of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons above.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe the two different cities that you have visited before. Include reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts