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Essay topics: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.5

Essay topics: Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 5
Nowadays, It has been that an individual spent their entire life at work. Therefore, as compared to the past, work practices and their purposes changed a lot, meanwhile, people are not dependable on the only single source of income. To accomplish this, there should be a need for an individual to become more sophisticated. I personally agree with this statement that in present era knowledge of various skills has to be an important for one to survive in the society. This essay will discuss it in more detail. To begin with, in the past people was sticking to on a job and satisfied with their work until the retirement. Also, they got the government job very easily. However, youngsters have less opportunities to get the government job due to high competition among the entire population. Therefore, it is necessary for one must have sophistication in different fields. Moreover, the person who updates their skills according to their surroundings on a daily basis, is one become a leader. For instance, the manager of the company should have knowledge of various business fields like, organisation, management, marketing and critical thinking. Hence, it is an essential for the people to become multi skills if want to survive in modern though work conditions. Additionally, there is not age limit to learning, as people learn throughout the life. So, one should continue their education to meet the desire qualification to widen the knowledge horizon in different fields. For example, if the person belongs to IT company and not update with latest bug or virus which results halt their all database. Since, it is an crucial to have specific latest information. For that, people should join various short term courses related to their field. To conclude, it is necessary for the human to be having multi skills and have knowledge about the surrounding world. Therefore, it is an important for survival in hard competitive world. For this, people should continue their education to update with the world.
Nowadays, It has been that an individual spent their entire life at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
, as compared to the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
practices and their purposes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot, meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not dependable on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
single source of income. To accomplish this, there should be a need for an individual to become more sophisticated. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that in present era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for one to survive in the society. This essay will discuss it in more detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was sticking to on a job and satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
until the retirement.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
However
, youngsters have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun opportunities is countable.
less
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
job due to high competition among the entire population.
Therefore
, it is necessary for one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have sophistication in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields.
Moreover
, the person who updates their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
according to their surroundings on a daily basis, is one become a leader.
For instance
, the manager of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of various business fields like,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, management, marketing and critical thinking.
Hence
, it is an essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become multi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
if want to survive in modern though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
conditions.

Additionally
, there is not age limit to learning, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn throughout the life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one should continue their education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the desire qualification to widen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
horizon in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields.
For example
, if the person belongs to IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and not update with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
bug or virus which results halt their all database.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, it is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial to have specific latest information. For that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
various short term courses related to their field.

To conclude
, it is necessary for the human to be having multi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the surrounding world.
Therefore
, it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for survival in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
competitive world. For this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should continue their education to update with the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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