Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage high-level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage high-level employees who are older than 55 to retire. v. 5
Some individuals think that companies have to make senior employees, who are more than 55, retired to make occupation for youngsters. I disagree with this point of view. These days, unemployment is a major issue in lots of countries. By retiring older staff, there will be more vacancies for the next generation and we can address this issue. Moreover, young people are more updated with the latest gadgets and software, therefore, it can increase efficiency and productivity through their innovations and creativity. Also, by rejuvenating, companies can make a dynamic, active, and competitive atmosphere at the workplace. On the other hand, leaving seniors might have some adverse impacts on societies. Firstly, when the older workforce becomes retired, societies will become out of very accomplished employees and it can cause some difficulties, such as reducing the quality of their professions. In other words, people over 55, are usually competent staffs and they have consisted of companies skilled workforces who are highly accomplished in their occupations. So their retirement can cause severe problems and immense repercussions on companies' outcomes. Secondly, setting a retirement age at this level would have prohibitive costs for insurance companies and governments due to the increasing number of retirees. And that is why no country set this age for retirement. Finally, fifty-five is not too old for leaving work. People at this age are still capable, productive, and competent. Furthermore, there are too young to be retired, and unemployment might give them a feeling of discriminating and disappointing. In conclusion, rejuvenating can increase efficiency and productivity besides reducing unemployment as today's major problem, but I reaffirm my position that I am against this view.
Some
individuals
think
that
companies
have to
make
senior employees, who are more than 55, retired to
make
occupation for youngsters. I disagree with this point of view.

These days, unemployment is a major issue in lots of countries. By retiring older staff, there will be more vacancies for the
next
generation and
we can address this issue.
Moreover
, young
people
are more updated with the latest gadgets and software,
therefore
, it can increase efficiency and productivity through their innovations and creativity.
Also
, by rejuvenating,
companies
can
make
a dynamic, active, and competitive atmosphere at the workplace.

On the other hand
, leaving seniors might have
some
adverse impacts on societies.
Firstly
, when the older workforce becomes retired, societies will become out of
very
accomplished employees and it can cause
some
difficulties, such as reducing the quality of their professions.
In other words
,
people
over 55, are
usually
competent
staffs and
they have consisted of
companies
skilled
workforces
who are
highly
accomplished in their occupations.
So
their retirement can cause severe problems and immense repercussions on
companies
' outcomes.
Secondly
, setting a retirement age at this level would have prohibitive costs for insurance
companies
and
governments
due to the increasing number of retirees. And
that is
why no country set this age for retirement.
Finally
, fifty-five is not too
old
for leaving work.
People
at this age are
still
capable, productive, and competent.
Furthermore
, there are too young to
be retired
, and unemployment might give them a feeling of discriminating and disappointing.

In conclusion
, rejuvenating can increase efficiency and productivity
besides
reducing unemployment as
today
's major problem,
but
I reaffirm my position that I am against this view.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage high-level employees who are older than 55 to retire. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts