Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? v.12

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? v. 12
It is commonly believed that the arts play a fundamental role in society, however, people are showing less and less interest in art these days and pay more attention to researching and technology. In this essay, I will analyse the reasons of this phenomenon and give some suggestions in order to alter this situation. In this age of technological marvels, it is obvious that science and technology play a crucial role in a modern society. Firstly, the general public cannot imagine life without electronic devices. Technology and the internet have given an incredible source of knowledge available anytime at our fingertips to all of us. Moreover, people from their childhood are motivated to find a good job and have a decent wage. From this perspective, science and business also create more jobs for helping people to make money and sustain economics. Secondly, another reason for the diminishing popularity of the profession is that a businessman or salaried employee gets monthly income opposed to an artist who would have to wait till the art has been sold. To solve this issue learning craft in elementary school level will help to promote children creativity and imagination, to explain youngsters that craft can help to express their emotions and feelings. It is a well-known fact, that without the development imagination and critical thinking, it is difficult to become the successful employee and make non-typical decisions. Moreover, the government should create jobs in the craft sector by opening more and more professional galleries and organizing exhibitions. To sum up, the importance of science and business is undeniable, but studying arts at school and college level and creating jobs in the profession sector should be encouraged and supported by the government.
It is
commonly
believed that the
arts
play a fundamental role in society,
however
,
people
are showing less and less interest in
art
these days and pay more attention to researching and technology. In this essay, I will
analyse
the reasons of this phenomenon and give
some
suggestions in order to alter this situation.

In this age of technological marvels, it is obvious that science and technology play a crucial role in a modern society.
Firstly
, the
general public
cannot imagine life without electronic devices. Technology and the internet have
given
an incredible source of knowledge available anytime at our fingertips to all of us.
Moreover
,
people
from their childhood
are motivated
to find a
good
job
and have a decent wage. From this perspective, science and business
also
create more
jobs
for helping
people
to
make
money and sustain economics.
Secondly
, another reason for the diminishing popularity of the profession is that a businessman or salaried employee
gets
monthly income opposed to an artist who would
have to
wait till the
art
has
been sold
.

To solve this issue learning craft in elementary school level will
help
to promote children creativity and imagination, to
explain
youngsters that craft can
help
to express their emotions and feelings. It is a well-known fact, that without the development imagination and critical thinking, it is difficult to become the successful employee and
make
non-typical decisions.
Moreover
, the
government
should create
jobs
in the craft sector by opening more and more professional galleries and organizing exhibitions.

To sum up, the importance of science and business is undeniable,
but
studying
arts
at school and college level and creating
jobs
in the profession sector should
be encouraged
and supported by the
government
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts