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Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.5

Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. v. 5
In the salad days of the millennium, the society is polarised into almost two groups equally. Regarding the notion that, whether accomplishment is sport everybody should have natural ability or needs a plethora of hard work, determination and practice. Although different people have their distinct mindset. I believe that backbreaking work and practice with correct way one can be successful in life. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches before making a final note. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour. First and foremost, inborn talents certainly matter. As a result, people who are born with a natural aptitude for singing, drawing or sports can acquire proficiency in those fields with relatively less effort. If we consider the examples of great musicians, painters or athlete, it is not hard to see that the vast majority of them showed considerable talent in their respective fields in their childhood itself. Obviously, they were born with those skills. However, just because someone is born with a certain talent, it does not mean that they will achieve advancement in that field. In order to achieve success they have to hone their skills like everyone else. It is just that achieving success is relatively easier for them. Shifting towards the second thought of school, some people, the ability which came naturally is the key to be successful in a sport field because it makes a confident person. Self confidence is a main motive of a sports person. Although athletes know about the rules and regulations of a play, they need to be confident to become a victorious sportsman. For instance, In the Olympics, Which is the most eminent race platform for international athletes, players play with a confidence which built by themselves because of their original strength. Obtain, who is the champion for a decade, has a strength. In addition, Tough competition is given by a player when he has a natural capability. Tough trial is a way to win the moat of matches in a sport, but it is not possible to all. To illustrate, athletes, who gives a neck to neck competition, he rules the sports field. Hence, many believe these skills come from nature. To conclude, I personally feel that through consistent method, it is possible for anyone to achieve expertise in arts and sports. This, however, does not mean that inborn skills are irrelevant. They do matter, but those born with special talents also needs system to gain proficiency
In the salad days of the millennium, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into almost two groups
equally
. Regarding the notion that, whether accomplishment is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
everybody should have natural ability or needs a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, determination and practice.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their distinct mindset. I believe that backbreaking work and practice with correct way one can be successful in life. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a final note.

To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad things to
be shared
in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
First
and foremost, inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
certainly
matter.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are born
with a natural aptitude for singing, drawing or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can acquire proficiency in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
with
relatively
less effort. If we consider the examples of great musicians, painters or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the vast majority of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
in their childhood itself.
Obviously
, they
were born
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
someone
is born
with a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, it does not mean that they will achieve advancement in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. In order to achieve success they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hone their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like everyone else. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that achieving success is
relatively
easier for them.

Shifting towards the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the ability which came
naturally
is the key to be successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a confident person.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Self confidence
is a main motive of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of a play, they need to be confident to become a victorious sportsman.
For instance
, In the Olympics, Which is the most eminent race platform for international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
, players play with a confidence which built by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their original strength. Obtain, who is the champion for a decade, has a strength.
In addition
, Tough competition is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by a player when he has a natural capability. Tough trial is a way to win the moat of matches in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not possible to all. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
, who gives a neck to neck competition, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from nature.

To conclude
, I
personally
feel that through consistent method, it is possible for anyone to achieve expertise in arts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This,
however
, does not mean that inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are irrelevant. They do matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those born with special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
also
needs system to gain
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
proficiency
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hard work and practice can make you successful. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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