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Today it is common practice for many business meetings and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Today it is common practice for many business meetings and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
There is no iota of doubt that, these days a huge number of people prefer trade meetings and employment training online. This phenomenon is offering multifarious benefits to people. However, sometimes a couple of problems emerge due to the same. The following paragraphs would cast light on the pros and cons of such development. To begin with the bright side, there are some benefits of having business meetings and training online. Firstly, this setup allows easy and convenient transaction. This is due to the reason that online communication can now happen, anytime and anywhere, making it easier for businessmen to make the deals even internationally. For example, individuals can attend these meetings and train online, without being the consent of leaving their workplace. Secondly, businesses that communicate online help internet companies to gain more profit. By utilizing the web in communicating work matter, there is also a higher usage of the net, therefore increasing sales for the internet providers. On the flip side of the coin, there are a handful of nasty consequences as well, online business interactions are bringing more problems to individuals and society. One of the issues that people face because of the trending online business communication is its psychological effects. For instance, many young entrepreneurs, are now socially awkward in face to face interaction because they are more used to interacting online. This has led to increase in the number of depressed and less confident individuals. Furthermore, another negative impact of the use of internet in business, specifically for training, is that it produces ineffective trainees. Many details are missed during an online training session, which has become the main reason for making detrimental mistakes in the business process. As a result, many manufacturers and companies suffer loss of profit, affecting the society in a negative way. In conclusion, although there are some advantages in practicing online meetings and trainings for business, the negative effects that it brings to the individuals’ health and the economy of the society far outweigh it.
There is no iota of doubt that, these days a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer trade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This phenomenon is offering multifarious benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a couple of problems
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "emerges"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'emerge' is not always incorrect.)
emerge
due to the same. The following paragraphs would cast light on the pros and cons of such development.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the bright side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Firstly
, this setup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
easy and convenient transaction. This is due to the reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
happen, anytime and anywhere, making it easier for businessmen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the deals even
internationally
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, without being the consent of leaving their workplace.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
that communicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to gain more profit. By utilizing the web in communicating work matter, there is
also
a higher usage of the net,
therefore
increasing sales for the internet providers.

On the flip side of the coin, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of nasty consequences
as well
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
interactions are bringing more problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society. One of the issues that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the trending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
communication is its psychological effects.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young entrepreneurs, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
socially
awkward in face to face interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to interacting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This has led to increase in the number of depressed and less confident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
Furthermore
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
specifically
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, is that it produces ineffective trainees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
are missed
during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
session, which has become the main reason for making detrimental mistakes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
process.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manufacturers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
suffer loss of profit, affecting the society in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages in practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects that it brings to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
health and the economy of the society far outweigh it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today it is common practice for many business meetings and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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