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Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.9

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 9
Standard health, education and trade play a vital role in the growth of poor countries. Some people believe that wealthier nations should help poorer ones in these areas. I completely agree that rich governments should assist poor countries. One of the reasons why I believe the well to do nations need to help the less privileged countries, is because they have a moral obligation to do so. When a neighbouring country is struggling with the aspects of health, education and trading, it is only human for a wealthy nation to send help. They could help in these areas by, for example, building schools in the poorer countries in order to improve education. Also, doctors and nurses could be sent to help them with their health standards, and governments can strike better trade deals to help with the poor country's economy. If wealthy countries do this, they would be contributing a lot of good to the world and making it a better place. Another reason why developed countries should assist the poorer ones is because, most of the wealthy nations today became rich off the backs of poor nations in the past. For instance, Africa's gold and diamond mines were illegally explored by popular European countries in the past. This has left several African nations poor and without resources. Therefore, it would be only right to help these countries with education; by awarding scholarships to intelligent students. Furthermore, funds could be sent to improve the health sector and seminars organised to train business owners of the poor country. In conclusion, it is true that education, good health and trade are important in developing poor countries. I believe that governments of rich countries should help them.
Standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and trade play a vital role in the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poorer ones in these areas. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
countries.

One of the reasons why I believe the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the less privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a moral obligation to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. When a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is struggling with the aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and trading, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
human for a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. They could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in these areas by,
for example
, building schools in the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Also
, doctors and nurses could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standards, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can strike better trade deals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
country's economy. If wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do this, they would be contributing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to the world and making it a better place.

Another reason why developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should assist the poorer ones is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, most of the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
became rich off the backs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in the past.
For instance
, Africa's gold and diamond mines were
illegally
explored by popular European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the past. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
several African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and without resources.
Therefore
, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
; by awarding scholarships to intelligent students.
Furthermore
, funds could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector and seminars
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
to train business owners of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
country.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and trade are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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