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Some people believe that to be a successful sportsperson, one needs to have a natural ability. Others think that hard work and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that to be a successful sportsperson, one needs to have a natural ability. Others think that hard work and practice are more important. v. 2
There are many people who think that an athlete can only be successful if he/ she has the innate talent / inborn talent. However, many people disagree with this view and believe that diligent efforts and constant practice make successful players. This essay will discuss both views and give my perspective. On the one side of the argument, many people believe that natural talent is needed to be a successful sports player. The main reason behind this is that, genes from parents play an important role in the development of a person’s body and interests which help them to master the game with less effort. To illustrate, the daughter of the famous Indian badminton coach, Mr. Gopichand started playing badminton at an early age of her life. She has won many medals at the national and international level. Obviously / No doubt, having natural ability can help a sports person to be successful as they can easily learn the sports and put efforts in an effective manner. On the other hand, many people think that hard-work and constant practice can help any sports person to achieve desired outcomes. The primary reason for believing this is that a game is played with passion and dedication. If an athlete has these two qualities then they can learn all the required skills and reach great heights. Although hard work can be frustrating at times, it also sharpens the skills and strengthens the player to focus more. To elucidate, Sachin Tendulkar, the renowned cricket player worked industriously for decades to earn the title of best player across the globe in the field of cricket. Hence, practice and hard work play a greater role than natural talent in making a sports person successful. To conclude, after analysing both the sides, it is not hard to see why people hold different opinions. In my opinion, a player can only be successful in a game if they have a strong will to achieve their goals through hard work and dedicated efforts.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that an athlete can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
if he/ she has the innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
/ inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this view and believe that diligent efforts and constant practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. This essay will discuss both views and give my perspective.

On the one side of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is needed
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
. The main reason behind this is that, genes from parents play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
body and interests which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to master the game with less effort.

To illustrate, the daughter of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Indian badminton coach, Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gopichand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
playing badminton at an early age of her life. She has won
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medals at the national and international level.
Obviously
/ No doubt, having natural ability can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
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person
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
as they can
easily
learn the
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sports
and put efforts
Consider replacing "in an effective manner" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective manner
.

On the other hand
,
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many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work and constant practice can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to achieve desired outcomes. The primary reason for believing this is that a game
is played
with passion and dedication. If an athlete has these two qualities then they can learn all the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and reach great heights. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work can be frustrating at times, it
also
sharpens the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and strengthens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
to focus more. To elucidate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, the renowned cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
worked
industriously
for decades to earn the title
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the best".
of best
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player
across the globe in the field of cricket.
Hence
, practice and
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hard
work play a greater role than natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
successful.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both the sides, it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
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people
hold
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different
opinions. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in a game if they have a strong will to achieve their goals through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work and dedicated efforts.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that to be a successful sportsperson, one needs to have a natural ability. Others think that hard work and practice are more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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