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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.7

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 7
In this 21st century, the modernised world believes in the concept of "Everything under one roof". According to the survey many local shops are closed because customers travelling to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping and definitely it's a positive development. In every corner of the city shopping mall are noticed and at the same time if we see local small shops, it is fading away slowly. Every individual is concerned about the money, hour, discounts, quality and quantity of a product. So, big shopping centres are attracting the society based on the above factors which are not available in local shops. Moreover, society wants everything at single place because they find it easier to meet their necessity and demands. Shopping malls have several sections like clothing, foods, furniture, electronics and more. Not only this, people from children to older people visit malls for entertainment and time pass as many events and games are organised for the public. On the other hand, small local shops have limited products and therefore people have less choices to buy things from there. For any purchase people have to go every other shop, but it's very day saving to go to a supermarket where every small to big thing is placed in one place. In consequence of this situation small shop vendors are adversely affected and are jobless so they should be benefited if they try to get their space in shopping centres to earn their livelihood in a better way.
In this 21st century, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
world believes in the concept of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Everything under one roof
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

According to the survey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
customers travelling to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and definitely it's a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

In every corner of the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
are noticed
and at the same time if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, it is fading away
slowly
. Every individual
is concerned
about the money, hour, discounts, quality and quantity of a product.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are attracting the society based on the above factors which are not available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Moreover
, society wants everything at single place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they find it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their necessity and demands.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have several sections like clothing, foods, furniture, electronics and more. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from children to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for entertainment and time pass as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and games are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
for the public.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have limited products and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun choices is countable.
less
choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things from there. For any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go every other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
day saving to go to a supermarket where every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
thing
is placed
in one place.

In consequence of this situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
vendors are
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and are jobless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should
be benefited
if they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their space in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to earn their livelihood in a better way.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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