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Buying things on the Internet such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. DO the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh its disadvantages? v.23

Buying things on the Internet such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. DO the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh its disadvantages? v. 23
The process of buying goods over the internet is called online shopping. The online shopping not only provides all the products at home but also save our valuable time. Therefore, I strongly agree that the benefits of this development are more significant than its drawbacks. (45) We had seen in the past that people always moved to markets whenever they need anything. In many parts of the world, people even had to travel long distances in order to purchase the required goods. Thus, shopping was a big challenge for people in the past. (47) Presently, the trend of online shopping is spreading all over the world as it provides a number of benefits to people. For example, it allows consumers to browse for products and check their prices. In this way, consumers are facilitated in buying any product online after considering its size, model and cost. Moreover, buying things over the internet help people in saving their precious time. Hence, online purchasing is a wise choice for those who are much busy in their lives as it does not require them to go to stores. (91) The resent development in information technology has enabled the people to buy any product online just with a single click of mouse while sitting at home. The product they bought surely reached their homes as soon as possible. Thus, if the popularity of online shopping keeps on increasing, then it will surely become the most reliable way of getting any product in the near future. (65) Thus, I believed that online shopping is one of the great innovations of people doing transactions over the internet as it reduces time and provides more options. (27)
The process of buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the internet
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save our valuable time.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the benefits of this development are more significant than its drawbacks. (45)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to markets whenever they need anything. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even had to travel long distances in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past. (47)

Presently
, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is spreading all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world as it provides a number of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
consumers to browse for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their prices. In this way, consumers
are facilitated
in buying any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
after considering its size, model and cost.
Moreover
, buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in saving their precious time.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing is a wise choice for those who are much busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as it does not require them to go to stores. (91)

The resent development in information technology has enabled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with a single click of mouse while sitting at home. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
surely
reached their homes as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
Thus
, if the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on increasing, then it will
surely
become the most reliable way of getting any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the near future. (65)

Thus
, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is one of the great innovations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing transactions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the internet as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
time and provides more options. (27)
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. DO the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh its disadvantages? v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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