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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 5
The process in which people, ideas, technology and goods are exchanged worldwide in order to develop more interaction between countries is called globalization. Globalization plays an important role in boosting the economy of any country. Therefore, I strongly agreed that the benefits of this development are more significant as compared to its drawbacks. (53) We had seen in the past the people had limited resources and lack of technology. Therefore, they were unable to communicate and develop relations with the international community. Thus, there was no concept of globalization in the past. (37) Presently, the globalization is revolutionizing the entire world around us. Nowadays, it is not only providing a similar way of life in different countries, but also making our lives more comfortable. For example, consumers are now able to buy a similar product of International brands from any part of the world. Moreover, the modern means of telecommunication like the internet and cell phone has greatly reduced the gaps and conflicts between people as well as countries. In addition, the concept of online business has opened new horizons for the International community. Although, globalization has some drawbacks like risks of social security on the internet, however, its advantages are far greater than its disadvantages. (109) The recent development in science and technology has transformed the whole world into a global village. Thus, if the globalization keeps on opening new doors of similarity to people, then the whole world will soon become similar in every respect. (40) Thus, I believed that it is the globalization that enabled the people to look similar across the globe. Hence, the benefits of this development are undeniable. (26)
The process in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are exchanged
worldwide in order to develop more interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is called
globalization. Globalization plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in boosting the economy of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the benefits of this development are more significant as compared to its drawbacks. (53)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had limited resources and lack of technology.
Therefore
, they were unable to communicate and develop relations with the international community.
Thus
, there was no concept of globalization in the past. (37)

Presently
, the globalization is revolutionizing the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
around us. Nowadays, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
providing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
way of life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more comfortable.
For example
, consumers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
product of International brands from any part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Moreover
, the modern means of telecommunication like the internet and cell phone has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the gaps and conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In addition
, the concept of online business has opened new horizons for the International community. Although, globalization has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of social security on the internet,
however
, its advantages are far greater than its disadvantages. (109)

The recent development in science and technology has transformed the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
into a global village.
Thus
, if the globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on opening new doors of similarity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, then the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
in every respect. (40)

Thus
, I believed that it is the globalization that enabled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
across the globe.
Hence
, the benefits of this development are undeniable. (26)
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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