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Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. v. 3
Few people accept that governments should not collect any tax from individuals so that they can keep all the savings they earn. This essay disagrees with that statement and will first discuss on how the officials spends the levy they gathered and then talk about how the collection help in the economy of the state. The government does not have enough funds in sustaining the needs of the people. That's why they need to collect the money so there will be a fair distribution for the needs of the country. In the United States of America, which have the most collected compensation of about $23 billion dollars, part of their collection goes to homeless people who cannot afford to provide the basic necessities in life which includes shelter, clothes, foods and medicines. Another division of it, is intended to be reserved in case when there are calamities will happen. Another point to consider is the money that the administration gather. It will give an impact to the economy of the country. Through the money that has been collected, it will give rise to more infrastructure and buildings that can open to a lot of jobs not only for individuals living in that state, but also for the people outside their territory. In Australia a lot of work open for non immigrant people. With this thing, the economy of Australia goes up from number 9 to 4. In conclusion, people need to pay with taxes for the proper reimbursement of the wealth of the nation.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accept that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not collect any tax from individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all the savings they earn. This essay disagrees with that statement and will
first
discuss on how the officials spends the levy they gathered and then talk about how the collection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the economy of the state.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds in sustaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That's why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to collect the money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
distribution for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the country. In the United States of America, which have the most collected compensation of about $23 billion dollars, part of their collection goes to homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot afford to provide the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
in life which includes shelter, clothes, foods and medicines. Another division of it,
is intended
to
be reserved
in case when there are calamities will happen.

Another point to consider is the money that the administration gather. It will give an impact to the economy of the country. Through the money that has
been collected
, it will give rise to more infrastructure and buildings that can open to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for individuals living in that state,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outside their territory. In Australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
work open for non immigrant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. With this thing, the economy of Australia goes up from number 9 to 4.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to pay with taxes for the proper reimbursement of the wealth of the nation.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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