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Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? v.1

Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? v. 1
A NUMBER OF STUDENTS CHOOSE TO PURSUE THEIR EDUCATION IN THE DIASPORA. ALTHOUGH, THIS HAS ITS DOWNSIDES IT ALSO HAS SOME AMAZING ADVANTAGES WHICH INCLUDE LEARNING OF DIVERSE HISTORY, CULTURE AND LANGUAGE AND BETTER JOB OPPORTUNITY AFTER SCHOOL. ON ONE HAND, STUDYING ABROAD COMES WITH ALOT OF PECKS LIKE ACQUIRING KNOWLEDGE IN THE HISTORY OF A FOREIGN LAND WHICH CAN ENABLE ONE BE A DIPLOMAT OR HISTORIAN IF ONE CHOOSES. HOWEVER, THE BEST WAY TO BE ACQUINTED WITH OTHER LANGUAGES IS BY ACTUALLY TRAVELING AND EATING THEIR FOODS. ADMITTEDLY, THIS HAS WAS SEEN AS A MYTH IN THE 90'S, BUT RESEARCHES CONDUCTED IN THE EARLY 90'S CONFIRMED OTHERWISE. ADDITIONALLY, LEARNING IN A FOREIGN LAND GIVES ONE MORE LEVERAGE TO GET A GOOD JOB AFTER GRADUATION. FOR EXAMPLE, MOST BUSINESS AND HEALTH SECTORS IN EUROPE GO AROUND UNIVERSITIES SELECTING POTENTIAL EMPLOYEES IN THEIR FINAL YEAR. ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS THAT IN DEVELOPED COUNTRIES IT ENABLES ONE HAVE ACCES TO FREE HEALTHCARE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE ACCOMODATION AND YEARLY STIPENDS. ON THE OTHER HAND, PROBLEMS WITH VACCINATION WHICH MAY REQUIRE A PERSON TO UNDERGO SOME ISOLATION TECHNIQUE CAN BE A TURN OFF. ADMITTEDLY A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PERSONS ARE AT FLIGHT RISK WITHOUT REALISING IT. THEREBY, ENDANGERING THEIR LIVES. CONSEQUENTLY, CHANGE IN MANY WAYS HAS BEEN SEEN TO BE DISRUPTIVE. FOR EXAMPLE, A MAN THAT WAS USED TO LIVING IN ONLY WARM AND COLD WEATHER CONDITIONS WAS GREATLY AFFECTED BY A VERY LONG WINTER WHICH LASTED UPTO SIX MONTHS AND LEFT HIM WITH PNEUMONIA. IN CONCLUSION, IN AS MUCH AS LEARNING ABROAD IS SEEN TO BE VERY BENEFICIAL, SOME DISADVANTAGES LIKE LONG ENDEARING QUARANTINE, EXTREME WEATHER CONTIONS, AND LANGUAGE BARRIER HAS MADE IT INSUFFERABLE.
A NUMBER OF STUDENTS CHOOSE TO PURSUE THEIR EDUCATION IN THE DIASPORA.

ALTHOUGH, THIS HAS ITS DOWNSIDES IT
ALSO
HAS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
AMAZING ADVANTAGES WHICH INCLUDE LEARNING OF DIVERSE HISTORY, CULTURE AND LANGUAGE AND BETTER JOB OPPORTUNITY AFTER SCHOOL.

ON ONE HAND, STUDYING ABROAD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
WITH
Possible spelling mistake found.
ALOT
OF PECKS LIKE ACQUIRING KNOWLEDGE IN THE HISTORY OF A FOREIGN LAND WHICH CAN ENABLE ONE BE A DIPLOMAT OR HISTORIAN IF ONE CHOOSES.

HOWEVER
, THE BEST WAY TO BE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACQUINTED
WITH OTHER LANGUAGES IS BY ACTUALLY TRAVELING AND EATING THEIR FOODS.

ADMITTEDLY
, THIS HAS WAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
AS A MYTH IN THE
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90S".
90'S
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
RESEARCHES CONDUCTED IN THE EARLY
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90S".
90'S
CONFIRMED
OTHERWISE
.

ADDITIONALLY
, LEARNING IN A FOREIGN LAND GIVES ONE MORE LEVERAGE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
JOB AFTER GRADUATION.
FOR EXAMPLE
, MOST BUSINESS AND HEALTH SECTORS IN EUROPE GO AROUND UNIVERSITIES SELECTING POTENTIAL EMPLOYEES IN THEIR FINAL YEAR. ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS THAT IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DEVELOPED COUNTRIES
IT ENABLES ONE HAVE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACCES
TO FREE HEALTHCARE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACCOMODATION
AND YEARLY STIPENDS.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, PROBLEMS WITH VACCINATION WHICH MAY REQUIRE A PERSON TO UNDERGO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
ISOLATION TECHNIQUE CAN BE A TURN OFF.

ADMITTEDLY
A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PERSONS
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'ARE' is not always incorrect.)
ARE
AT FLIGHT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RISK
WITHOUT
Possible spelling mistake. 'REALISING' is British English.
REALISING
IT. THEREBY, ENDANGERING THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVES
.

CONSEQUENTLY
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGE
IN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
WAYS HAS BEEN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
TO BE DISRUPTIVE.
FOR EXAMPLE
, A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAN
THAT WAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO LIVING IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
WARM AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COLD
WEATHER CONDITIONS WAS
GREATLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AFFECTED
BY A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
LONG WINTER WHICH LASTED
Possible spelling mistake found.
UPTO
SIX MONTHS AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LEFT
HIM WITH PNEUMONIA.

IN CONCLUSION
, IN AS MUCH AS LEARNING ABROAD IS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
TO BE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
BENEFICIAL,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DISADVANTAGES LIKE LONG ENDEARING QUARANTINE, EXTREME WEATHER
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONTIONS
, AND LANGUAGE BARRIER HAS MADE IT INSUFFERABLE.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? v. 1

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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