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Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or kn v.11

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. 11
Some people are of a view that tax should not be paid to the state instead people should keep all the money they earn. However, others oppose such view. Those who believe tax should not be paid points out that paying tax encourages criminal acts. Some people device methods and actions to avoid paying tax. The famous soccer star Lionel Messi exemplifies this precisely. He was charged with fraud after he came up with actions to dodge paying tax. This clarifies that tax promotes fraudulent actions. Furthermore, it promotes unfairness to the tax payer. Their hard earned income is shared with state. This is evident in majority of countries as they have a standard percentage of taxing workers. This is exploiting to workers as they would not enjoy all the rewards of their hard work. On the other hand, tax should be paid as the state uses such income for public services. South Africa in particular uses tax money to pay older citizens over 60 years of age. It is so because these individuals are disadvantaged by age and physical fitness to work. Thus this reduces dependency. Moreover, paying tax reduces the gap between the poor and the rich. The more one earns, the higher the amount of tax, and the lesser income one earns the lesser tax charged. This reduces the rich from being richer and the poorer being poorer. In conclusion, it is worth noting that paying tax may encourage crime and may seem exploiting to workers. However, I believe the benefits of tax money are far more rewarding to the state and citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of a view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
should not
be paid
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all the money they earn.
However
, others oppose such view.

Those who believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
should not
be paid
points out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
encourages criminal acts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
device methods and actions to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
soccer star Lionel Messi exemplifies this
precisely
. He
was charged
with fraud after he came up with actions to dodge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
. This clarifies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
promotes fraudulent actions.

Furthermore
, it promotes unfairness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
payer. Their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
income
is shared
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
. This is evident in
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
countries as they have a standard percentage of taxing workers. This is exploiting to workers as they would not enjoy all the rewards of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
should
be paid
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
such income for public services. South Africa
in particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
money to pay older citizens over 60 years of age. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these individuals
are disadvantaged
by age and physical fitness to work.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
dependency.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the gap between the poor and the rich. The more one earns, the higher the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, and the lesser income one earns the lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
charged. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the rich from being richer and the poorer being poorer.

In conclusion
, it is worth noting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
may encourage crime and may seem exploiting to workers.
However
, I believe the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
money are far more rewarding to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
and citizens.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. 11

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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