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Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. v.1

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. v. 1
People work hard and earn money which ideally they would like to retain for themselves. However, a significant portion of this usually has to be given to the state. In my view, it is right that people pay their fair share of taxes. Money is everything in today’s livelihoods. This is because money is used to buy all the necessities such as food, water, and shelter. Money is also used to help a family’s children in the form of school fees and other activities. In addition to this, people do not only need money to cater for their necessities, but also for future investments. The more that people have to invest, the more they believe they can accumulate in the long term. As a result, many are reluctant to lose some of their income through the deduction of tax. Nevertheless, citizens should be obliged to pay taxes to the government for a number of reasons. They should accept that the taxes they pay help the government offer them the public services all over the country. These public services are things such as the construction of roads, bridges, public hospitals, parks and other public services. The same tax money helps the country’s economy to be stable. Through taxes, the government can pay off its debts. In short, tax money is a way of ensuring that people have comfortable livelihoods. In conclusion, even though many people think that they should not pay taxes, that money is useful to the stability of any country. Therefore, people should not avoid paying taxes as it may affect the country’s economy and services that it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which
ideally
they would like to retain for themselves.
However
, a significant portion of this
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the state. In my view, it is right that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share of taxes.

Money is everything in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s livelihoods. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the necessities such as food, water, and shelter.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a family’s children in the form of school fees and other activities.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cater for their necessities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for future investments. The more that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest, the more they believe they can accumulate in the long term.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are reluctant to lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their income through the deduction of tax.

Nevertheless
, citizens should
be obliged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for a number of reasons. They should accept that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offer them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are things such as the construction of roads, bridges,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
hospitals, parks and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. The same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy to be stable. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
off its debts. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a way of ensuring that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have comfortable livelihoods.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is useful to the stability of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not avoid paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
as it may affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
that it provides
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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