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Effect of junk foods on the body v.1

Effect of junk foods on the body v. 1
There is an upsurge in the percentage of individuals prone to develop chronic medical issues because they are obese This is as a result of people's dependence on junk food. In order to combat this trend, they should do regular physical exercises, so as to burn calories and have healthy weight. Many people in the world rely on processed meals for there daily food consumption. This is why a lot of individuals suffer from obesity. These foods contains saturated fats and chemicals which are not good for the body. However, it is a staple source of food for them because it is cheaper than organic foods and there are several food outlets where they easily order and even have it delivered anywhere they desire. For example, my nephew, who is obese eats junk meals daily, he is always fatigued and presently being treated for diabetes at the hospital. Consumption of unhealthy meals leads to obesity and subsequent health issues. Exercising is a good way to maintain a healthy body mass index and also lose weight. It only requires commitment to do physical exercises. Overweight people should be encouraged to include daily exercises into their daily routines, doing this, they will shed weight and not be morbidly obese. For example, 95percent of obese people, who participates in regular exercises at Crescent gym centre in Lafia, were all able to lose weight within six months they registered and no longer overweight. Therefore, exercising is an effective measure that will curb obesity in the society In conclusion, consumption of processed foodd is the main reason for obesity and daily exercises will stop people from being obese and be physically fit.
There is an upsurge in the percentage of individuals prone to develop chronic medical issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
This is
as a result
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's dependence on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In order to combat this trend, they should do regular physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
burn calories and have healthy weight.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world rely on processed meals for there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption. This is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individuals suffer from obesity. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
You should probably use "contain".
contains
saturated fats and chemicals which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the body.
However
, it is a staple source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is cheaper than organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets where they
easily
order and even have it delivered anywhere they desire.
For example
, my nephew, who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
eats junk meals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
, he is always fatigued and
presently
being treated
for diabetes at the hospital. Consumption of unhealthy meals leads to obesity and subsequent health issues.

Exercising is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to maintain a healthy body mass index and
also
lose weight. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requires commitment to do physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. Overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
routines, doing this, they will shed weight and not be
morbidly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
.
For example
, 95percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who participates in regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
at Crescent gym
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lafia
, were all able to lose weight within six months they registered and no longer overweight.
Therefore
, exercising is an effective measure that will curb obesity in the society

In conclusion
, consumption of processed
Possible spelling mistake found.
foodd
is the main reason for obesity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
and be
physically
fit.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Effect of junk foods on the body v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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