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Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 3
Smoking in civic places has become a trend nowadays in national places. Emitting fumes not only effect the one who is emitting smoke, but also the people who are near them. Hence, it should be prohibited in open places. This essay will argue why this act should be forbidden in the crowded places. To begin with, smoking of cigar, weed is not only toxic to smokers but also to the nonsmokers. The smoke is harmful to nonsmoker’s lung, as it enters into the nostrils and have an adverse effect on their respiratory system. Furthermore, there are some people, who have allergic reactions to the fragrance of this smell and they may have problems such as itching and sneezing rapidly. For example, in UK a survey report of annual percentage of nonsmoker’s suffering from this smoke was recorded which saw nearly 20% increment from the last year. In addition, we should conduct a health campaign and promote the ill effects of these type of intoxication in the society for awareness. Moreover, the government officials should impose a huge tax on shops selling these products in open areas and also fix gigantic fines on an individual who is found guilty of his offence. For instance, a report submitted by narcotics department in Indonesia stated that after implementing colossal tariff on producing these harmful substances there was nearly 95% reduction in smoking at metropolitan places. In conclusion, smoking in accessible places has become a continuous practice nowadays which harms the ordinary people in huge way, as well as to people who smoke on a regular basis. This essay argued why these health threatening materials should be made illegal in public places. In my opinion, I believe as for the health precaution these destructive stuffs should be outlawed by the higher officials.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in civic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has become a trend nowadays in national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Emitting fumes not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is emitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are near them.
Hence
, it should
be prohibited
in open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This essay will argue why this act should
be forbidden
in the crowded places.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
of cigar, weed is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
toxic to smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the nonsmokers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
is harmful to nonsmoker’s lung, as it enters into the nostrils and have an adverse effect on their respiratory system.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have allergic reactions to the fragrance of this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
smell and
they may have problems such as itching and sneezing
rapidly
.
For example
, in UK a survey report of annual percentage of nonsmoker’s suffering from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
was recorded
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
nearly
20% increment from the last year.

In addition
, we should conduct a health campaign and promote the ill effects of these type of intoxication in the society for awareness.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials should impose a huge tax on shops selling these products in open areas and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
gigantic fines on an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is found
guilty of his
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
For instance
, a report submitted by narcotics department in Indonesia stated that after implementing colossal tariff on producing these harmful substances there was
nearly
95% reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
at metropolitan places.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in accessible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has become a continuous practice nowadays which harms the ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in huge way,
as well
as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
on a regular basis. This essay argued why these health threatening materials should
be made
illegal in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. In my opinion, I believe as for the health precaution these destructive stuffs should
be outlawed
by the higher officials.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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