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It is wiser to use your money to gain meaningful experiences than to use it to acquire possessions. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

It is wiser to use your money to gain meaningful experiences than to use it to acquire possessions. v. 1
Many people spend most part of their income on partying at clubs or night-outs, such things are turned out to be waste by the end, additionally it does not create a meaningful occasion. Although, the best way to utilize one’s money, is to create purposeful memories in life. However, sometimes it is also cruitial to save money in order to buy something important in the future course of our life. In this essay, I am going to discuss my views on both ideas and share my opinion. Firstly, through personal finance a person should take advantage of buying some time for themselves which can be useful as well as enjoyable. Such spent time also makes their lives less stressfull. To elaborate, one can choose in every few months for a trip out of the town to take part in some activities such as meditation and yogas. Additionally, a person can even take a break from work and go for some adventures. This will result in many memorable experiences that they can share in future with friends and family. On the other hand, it is also important that some part of the income should go over purchasing something that could be meaningful for individual’s future goals. For instance, people can save money over a period of time through which they can buy things that were on their wish list such as a car, motorbike or even a house. Thus, people will feel sense of achievement through buying an important thing that they always wished. To conclude, I would say, in order to create a mindful experience in life one should keep investing in something memorable. However, sometimes to achieve certain goals, it is important to save some money for the particular thing.
Many
people
spend most part of their income on partying at clubs or night-outs, such things
are turned
out to be waste by the
end
,
additionally
it does not create a meaningful occasion. Although, the best way to utilize one’s
money
, is to create purposeful memories in life.
However
,
sometimes
it is
also
cruitial
to save
money
in order to
buy
something
important
in the future course of our life. In this essay, I am going to discuss my views on both
ideas
and share my opinion.

Firstly
, through personal finance a person should take advantage of buying
some
time for themselves which can be useful
as well
as enjoyable. Such spent time
also
makes
their
lives
less
stressfull
. To elaborate, one can choose in every few months for a trip out of the town to
take part
in
some
activities such as meditation and
yogas
.
Additionally
, a person can even take a break from work and go for
some
adventures. This will result in
many
memorable experiences that they can share in future with friends and family.

On the other hand
, it is
also
important
that
some
part of the income should go over purchasing something that could be meaningful for individual’s future goals.
For instance
,
people
can save
money
over a period of time through which they can
buy
things that were on their wish list such as a car, motorbike or even a
house
.
Thus
,
people
will feel sense of achievement through buying an
important
thing that they always wished.

To conclude
, I would say, in order to create a mindful experience in life one should
keep
investing in something memorable.
However
,
sometimes
to achieve certain goals, it is
important
to save
some
money
for the particular thing.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is wiser to use your money to gain meaningful experiences than to use it to acquire possessions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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