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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment fo each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment fo each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 1
Nowadays, the crime rate is increasing, since many more crimes have been recognized as they are. In fact, in the recent years, sexual or child abuse or also domestic violences have been finally defined as huge injuries. However, the punishment topic behind different kinds of crimes seems to be still deeply discussed. For many, we should define fixed punishment, while others claim that all judgements should be comprised also the reasons that some illegal activities could hide. In this essay, I will discuss both the idea and suggest some food for thought. There are several benefits in defining fixed punishment, since in this way people are already aware of what they can risk and maybe they can be scared enough to give up the idea of committing injuries. What I mean is that if we define severe penalty, we can discourage some crimes. In addition, fixed punishment could speed up the trials, avoiding all the bureaucratic staffs and ensuring also an equal judgment and justice for all harmed people in the same conditions. Turning to the other side of the story, for specific crimes, maybe could be relevant to understand what were the causes and problems that have pushed someone to violate laws. In minor crimes, as thieving or selling illegal drugs, often are hidden poverty and misery of people who cannot effort anything. In these cases, it is still fundamental to punish the culprits, but maybe we should find out other kinds of castigations, in order maybe to educate them and also to offer some instruments to overcome economic issues. All the things considered, in many situations it is hard to generalize, supporting the idea of fixed punishment and maybe we should start to evaluate the explanations behind some crimes. Personally, I believe that the deep meaning of punishment is to educate, in order to avoid the same situation again, and therefore we should always keep in mind that criminals are still human beings.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is increasing, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
have
been recognized
as they are. In fact, in the recent years, sexual or child abuse or
also
domestic violences have been
finally
defined as huge injuries.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
topic behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
seems to be
still
deeply
discussed. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, we should define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, while others claim that all judgements should
be comprised
also
the reasons that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illegal activities could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
. In this essay, I will discuss both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.

There are several benefits in defining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, since in this way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are already aware of what they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and maybe they can
be scared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to give up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of committing injuries. What I mean is that if we define severe penalty, we can discourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crimes.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
the trials, avoiding all the bureaucratic staffs and ensuring
also
an equal
Do not mix variants of the same word ('judgment' and 'judgement') within a single text.
judgment
and justice for all harmed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the same conditions.

Turning to the other side of the story, for specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, maybe could be relevant to understand what were the causes and problems that have pushed someone to violate laws. In minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, as thieving or selling illegal drugs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are hidden
poverty and misery of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot effort anything. In these cases, it is
still
fundamental to punish the culprits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
maybe we should find out other kinds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
castigations
, in order maybe to educate them and
also
to offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instruments to overcome economic issues.

All the things considered, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to generalize, supporting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and maybe we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to evaluate the explanations behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Personally
, I believe that the deep meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is to educate, in order to avoid the same situation again, and
therefore
we should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that criminals are
still
human beings.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment fo each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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