Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both of these two views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 9
Certain people argue that every type of fault should be fixed punishment. But, others deem that firstly listen the purpose of behind the caper then deciding the beating. In my first view, depravity is a bigger problem in the  now. Some people, for completing their needs, they do abomination. Such as, robbery, theft and many more. Moreover, if the  government allows this rule infraction may be reduced and criminals will think twice before committing any breach. For instance, in Saudi Arabia, if people do any type of depravity in this place. The government would only give capital punishment. Because, the main object of this law is reducing the infraction from this place and due to this rule crime has decreased in this country. In my second view, Before giving any types of sanction. The government should see the motivation of behind the offence. Then, they should decide  some about criminals lumps. For example, some time a man going to somewhere in the middle night and someone has attacked on him with the gun and man has also hit him with something to protecting himself. After that, suddenly attacker is a die. This kind of situation law cannot say it is murder. Because they have done this murder for saving himself. Therefore, these types of cases authority should see first what is the region at the back of the felony. Afterwards, they should choose his sanction. To summarize, I think first of all nation authorities have to check the motive at the rear of the scandal. Then, they should take some action about criminals lumps.
Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of fault should be 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
punishment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, others deem that 
firstly
 listen the purpose of behind the caper then deciding the beating.

In my
first
view, depravity is a bigger problem in the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, for completing their needs, they do abomination. Such as, robbery, theft and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
, if the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
infraction may be 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and criminals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing any breach.
For instance
, in Saudi Arabia, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of depravity in this place. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give capital punishment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, the main object of this law is reducing the infraction from this place and due to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
crime has decreased in this country.

In my second view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
giving any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of sanction. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
 the motivation of behind the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
. Then, they should decide
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
about criminals lumps.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
There isn't usually a preposition before "somewhere". Did you mean "going somewhere"?
going to somewhere
in the middle night and someone has attacked on him with the gun and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has
also
hit him with something to protecting himself. After that,
suddenly
attacker is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. This kind of situation law cannot say it is murder.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have done this murder for saving himself.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of cases authority should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
first
what is the region at the back of the felony. Afterwards, they should choose his sanction.

To summarize
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
 
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
 nation authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the motive at the rear of the scandal. Then, they should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action about criminals lumps.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts