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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 2
Although there is no doubt that crime must be punished, it is important to consider which type of penal system is most appropriate. While some believe that a system of fixed sentences should be adopted, I support the view that punishments should be based on motives and circumstances. Those who advocate implementing a judicial process of set punishments may argue that this would make crime trials more efficient. For example, once a jury has decided a particular defendant is guilty of murder, the judge need only refer to the “punishment for murder” to sentence that person to life imprisonment. The benefit of this is that a huge amount of time would be saved in court, thus leading to significant financial savings. As a result, more money could be spent on healthcare, education and welfare. However, I would argue that the above system is too rigid, and a process of “flexible” punishment is much fairer. The latter punishment system, which many countries use, leaves more room for compassion toward offenders who have been blackmailed or manipulated. For instance, under this system, if a thief is able to prove that he had been bullied into committing his crime, he should be sentenced to less prison time than a thief who had been motivated by greed. If, instead, fixed punishment were implemented, this sense of fairness and morality would be lost. In conclusion, while a legal system of fixed punishments might be more cost-effective and efficient, a procedure of assessing crimes based on circumstances and motives is more just, and justice, in my view, is paramount.
Although there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be punished
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider which type of penal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is most appropriate. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
sentences should
be adopted
, I support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should
be based
on motives and circumstances.

Those who advocate implementing a judicial process of set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
may argue that this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
trials more efficient.
For example
, once a jury has decided a particular defendant is guilty of murder, the judge need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
refer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“punishment
for murder” to sentence that person to life imprisonment. The benefit of this is that a huge amount of time would
be saved
in court,
thus
leading to significant financial savings.
As a result
, more money could
be spent
on healthcare, education and welfare.

However
, I would argue that the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is too rigid, and a process of “flexible”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is much fairer. The latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
more room for compassion toward offenders who have
been blackmailed
or manipulated.
For instance
, under this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, if a thief is able to prove that he had
been bullied
into committing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, he should
be sentenced
to less prison time than a thief who had
been motivated
by greed. If,
instead
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
were implemented
, this sense of fairness and morality would
be lost
.

In conclusion
, while a legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
might be more cost-effective and efficient, a procedure of assessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
based on circumstances and motives is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
, and justice, in my view, is paramount.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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