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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 1
There is an argument that the type of crime should be the only fact to establish a penalty. In contrast, part of society argues that facts such as circumstances as well as motivation must be considered. From my perspective, in order to fairly judge someone, the justice system should consider several factors. On the one hand, regardless the motivation, crimes affect victims at the same matter, since the result of criminal activies are the same, as a consequence, they should be punished equally regarding the victim's protection. For instance, even if an assault is commited by a minor, it still has the potention to hurt or kill the victim. Moreover, equal punishments help citizens to obey the laws, as individuals understand clearly their limits and consequences, which generally decreases crime statistics. On the other hand, ignoring other factors while judging a crime is unfair, because the criminal might not be entirely wrong nor responsible for the action, as a result, inmates could spend more time than they should in prison. For example, a man in Fortaleza spent twenty years in prison for killing his daughter's attacker, despite being a hard-worker and Christian, which lead to an unfair sentence. Additionally, dangerous criminals may be underestimated by the justice and commit illegal activities again, as most serial killers, to illustrate, have commited minor crimes before starting killing, therefore, ignoring those aspects might increase crime numbers. To conclude, while fixed penalties may seem more logical considering the results, the reasons and background of the action play a critical role to establish the level of dangerous of criminals. In my opinion, all judgments should take other aspects into consideration besides the crime.
There is an argument that the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fact to establish a penalty.
In contrast
, part of society argues that facts such as circumstances
as well
as motivation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
. From my perspective, in order to
fairly
judge someone, the justice system should consider several factors.

On the one hand, regardless the motivation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
affect victims at the same matter, since the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake found.
activies
are the same, as a consequence, they should
be punished
equally
regarding the victim's protection.
For instance
, even if an assault is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
by a minor, it
still
has the
Possible spelling mistake found.
potention
to hurt or kill the victim.
Moreover
, equal punishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
citizens to obey the laws, as individuals understand
clearly
their limits and consequences, which
generally
decreases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
statistics.

On the other hand
, ignoring other factors while judging a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is unfair,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
might not be
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
nor responsible for the action,
as a result
, inmates could spend more time than they should in prison.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in Fortaleza spent twenty years in prison for killing his daughter's attacker, despite being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-worker and Christian, which lead to an unfair sentence.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
may
be underestimated
by the justice and commit illegal activities again, as most serial killers, to illustrate, have
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting killing,
therefore
, ignoring those aspects might increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
numbers.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
penalties may seem more logical considering the results, the reasons and background of the action play a critical role to establish the level of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. In my opinion, all judgments should take other aspects into consideration
besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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