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Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both of these two views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 2
Raphael Astor Zardalian One of the highly controversial topics nowadays is whether the judiciary system should establish fixed sentences for all crimes, or if it should consider the circumstances and motive behind each and every crime. These days, depravity is a much bigger problem than back in the old days. Some people believe that it’s better to adopt fixed punishments for each type of felony since it’s more effective, much easier to implement and ensures equality, while others are convinced that it’s better to judge each crime as an individual, based on the situation. Initially, fixed punishments have enormous advantages in achieving effectiveness and justice. Above all, a given set of rules is certainly easier to implement and leads to a more effective process if we compare it with a flexible approach to punish criminals. In other words, fixed punishments will save a lot of time and money that could otherwise be directed for use in much needed services to the community such as health and education since. This is because the judges would not need to determine what type of punishment criminals would deserve as it would have been already decided for them. In addition to that, this would definitely make court proceedings a lot quicker. Also, it allows criminals to be treated fairly for their crimes for the reason that it’s important to ensure no one gets discriminated and most importantly, there will be no differentiation between the criminals who committed the same kind of crime. Additionally, crime rate would definitely decline. People will be more cautious in their daily activities to prevent any criminal act, because they would already be knowing their fate if they ever commit a crime. Simply put, criminals will think twice before they commit any crime, as they would realize that punishment is going to be swift and strict. One good illustration of this is the declined rate of crimes in some countries that adopt a very strict and harsh punitive system. On the other hand, a simple principle can’t cover changeable situations. There should be some considerations of what were the motives of crime and also the background of criminals. There must be a different punishment between a serial killer and someone who was forced to kill for self-defending. Applying same punishment to the woman who stole a loaf of bread from a store to feed her hungry baby and a corrupt government employee who stole millions of dollars to pile up his wealth is not at all justified though stealing was the crime in both cases. Moreover, flexible sentences are more equal, compassionate and humane and it would also facilitate the respect of the public for the authority. To recap, some people believe that fixed punishments are more able to maintain efficiency, equality between criminals much faster and easier than judging people based on the circumstances and motive of each crime. I personally believe that, fixed punishments are undoubtedly necessary to make sure the effective process of the penalty system. Nevertheless, we still have to make room for flexibilities and consider every crime as an individual.
Raphael Astor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zardalian


One of the
highly
controversial topics nowadays is whether the judiciary system should establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
sentences for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, or if it should consider the circumstances and motive behind each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. These days, depravity is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
bigger problem than back in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it’s better to adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for each type of felony since it’s more effective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
easier to implement and ensures equality, while others
are convinced
that it’s better to judge each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as an individual, based on the situation.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
have enormous advantages in achieving effectiveness and justice.
Above all
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
is
certainly
easier to implement and leads to a more effective process if we compare it with a flexible approach to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
will save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and money that could
otherwise
be directed
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
services to the community such as health and education since. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the judges would not need to determine what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
would deserve as it would have been already decided for them.
In addition
to that, this would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
court proceedings a lot quicker.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to
be treated
fairly
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for the reason that it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to ensure no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
discriminated and most
importantly
, there will be no differentiation between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed the same kind of crime.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate would definitely decline.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will be more cautious in their daily activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
act,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would already
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be knowing
their fate if they ever commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Simply
put,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they commit any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, as they would realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is going to be swift and strict. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is the declined rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries that adopt a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict and harsh punitive system.

On the other hand
, a simple principle can’t cover changeable situations. There should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considerations of what were the motives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
also
the background of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
between a serial killer and someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was forced
to kill for self-defending. Applying same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to the woman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stole a loaf of bread from a store to feed her hungry baby and a corrupt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stole millions of dollars to pile up his wealth is not at all justified though stealing was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in both cases.
Moreover
, flexible sentences are more equal, compassionate and humane and it would
also
facilitate the respect of the public for the authority.

To recap,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are more able to maintain efficiency, equality between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
faster and easier than judging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on the circumstances and motive of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. I
personally
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are
undoubtedly
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the effective process of the penalty system.
Nevertheless
, we
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for
Possible spelling mistake found.
flexibilities
and consider every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as an individual.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
515 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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