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Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. v. 2
The purpose of films has been a matter of considerable controversy in today's world as people's opinions diversify into a source of entertainment and a way of education. While I accept that there are different intentions of making films, I would argue that it is better to make film with educational purpose. On one hand, people who support the statement above argue that films which contain amusing plot help reduce their stress and create delightful moments. It is due to the fact that those who suffer a lot from working and studying often look for a solution with the purposes of releasing tension and recharging their energy. For instance, I often go to the cinema to watch cartoons or romantic movies when I feel stressful. In the past, comedies were considered the greatest kind of entertaining with amusing plot, and hilarious acting. Meanwhile, in the modern world, it is reported that men and women often choose romantic and sci-fi films to see because most of those are appealing and intriguing. In addition, watching entertaining films might improve one's personality, which encourages positive thoughts and humorousness. On the other hand, it seems to me that films should include educational values because of some deniable benefits for both movie makers and the audiences. Firstly, young people can still obtain knowledge and broaden their mind during movie time. In some circumstances, whatever film they watch, people learn involuntarily in unconsciousness because they have create a habit of absorbing new things while watching movies. Secondly, films with enlightening content are believed to have been an effective way to raise people's awareness about social problems. Not only benefit audiences, films produced as a mean of education also benefit the film-makers. In particular, messages delivered through the films determine the rate of their movies. Indeed, films included educational values are often receive top-rate and the boom in revenues of ticket sales. To some extents, I personally assume that whether a film is entertaining or not depends on different people's interests and points of view because watching films is one's own decision. In conclusion, even though there are some benefits of films with entertaining purposes, I believe that films should include educational values due to the aims of raising people's knowledge and awareness about the society, as well as increasing films' revenues and improving film-makers’ reputation.
The purpose of films has been a matter of considerable controversy in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
opinions diversify into a source of entertainment and a way of education. While I accept that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
intentions of making films, I would argue that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
film with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
purpose.

On one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who support the statement above argue that films which contain amusing plot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and create delightful moments. It is due to the fact that those who suffer a lot from working and studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
look for a solution with the purposes of releasing tension and recharging their energy.
For instance
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
go to the cinema to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cartoons or romantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
when I feel stressful. In the past, comedies
were considered
the greatest kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
with amusing plot, and hilarious acting. Meanwhile, in the modern world, it
is reported
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
choose romantic and sci-fi films to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of those are appealing and intriguing.
In addition
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
films might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's personality, which encourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thoughts and humorousness.

On the other hand
, it seems to me that films should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deniable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
makers and the audiences.
Firstly
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
still
obtain knowledge and broaden their mind during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
time. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances, whatever film they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn
involuntarily
in unconsciousness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
Use past participle here: "created".
create
a habit of absorbing new things while watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Secondly
, films with enlightening content
are believed
to have been an effective way to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
awareness about social problems. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
audiences, films produced as a mean of education
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
the film-makers.
In particular
, messages delivered through the films determine the rate of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Indeed
, films included
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
values are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
receive top-rate and the boom in revenues of ticket sales. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extents, I
personally
assume that whether a film is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
or not depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
interests and points of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
watching films is one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of films with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entertaining
purposes, I believe that films should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
values due to the aims of raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
knowledge and awareness about the society,
as well
as increasing films' revenues and improving film-makers’ reputation.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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