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Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. But others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. But others say films should have educational value. v. 5
Some people say that the aim of films is just about to amuse, while others would argue that it should bring for educational benefits. Although films are ways for people relaxed, I believe that it is better to convey valuable knowledge through films On the one hand, films are a means of entertainment for people. Seeing movies is one of the ways to amuse that can relieve the stress and pressure of people in daily life. As a result, they just want to see simple, easy-to-understand movies to bring relaxing moments after tiring work. For example, according to a survey conducted by The Times, How to meet your mother is rated to be the highest rating of comedies worth watching when you want to rest after work because the content is realistic, simple, and hilarious. However, I think amusement is just a temporary desire and it would take a lot of time when you keep watching movies with meaningless content and not bring you any value. On the other hand, it is clear that people could broaden their horizons in many fields through films. Movies with meaningful messages and various contents would help viewers get more rewarding things and gain new knowledge like philosophy in life or knowledge about certain fields. In addition, the information in the form of vivid images would impress the viewer and make them remember better. For example, Fox Channel released a science film called Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey films in 2018. This film received big attention from the viewers and is considered a breakthrough in helping people have more insight into the universe. I believe that bringing educational values in films will create excitement and motivation that will make viewers learn more useful things through a source of entertainment, in lieu of just learning from books. In conclusion, although movies can truly entertain people, they should concurrently provide them with educational benefits because it would expand their visions in all fields with the best vivid images.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the aim of films is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about to amuse, while others would argue that it should bring for educational benefits. Although films are ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relaxed, I believe that it is better to convey valuable knowledge through
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
films


On the one hand, films are a means of entertainment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is one of the ways to amuse that can relieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in daily life.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
simple, easy-to-understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to bring relaxing moments after tiring work.
For example
, according to a survey conducted by The Times, How to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
your mother
is rated
to be the highest rating of comedies worth watching when you want to rest after work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the content is realistic, simple, and hilarious.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
amusement is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a temporary desire and it would take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with meaningless content and not bring you any value.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could broaden their horizons in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields through films.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
with meaningful messages and various contents would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more rewarding things and gain new knowledge like philosophy in life or knowledge about certain fields.
In addition
, the information in the form of vivid images would impress the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewer
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them remember better.
For example
, Fox Channel released a science film called Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey films in 2018. This film received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
attention from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
and
is considered
a breakthrough in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more insight into the universe. I believe that bringing educational values in films will create excitement and motivation that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
learn more useful things through a source of entertainment, in lieu of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learning from books.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
truly
entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they should
concurrently
provide them with educational benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would expand their visions in all fields with the best vivid images.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. But others say films should have educational value. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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