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Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. But others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. But others say films should have educational value. v. 1
Some people think education should be in films, while others argue that entertainment is the main goal of films to become popular with many viewers. I believe that educational films can develop people thinking in life. On the one hand, films have the only purpose to relax, which is widespread to a big number of spectators. Most entertainment films have one general structure and simple content that easy to understand so attracting wide audiences to watch and enjoy leads to popularity. According to the survey of Oxford University, 80% of Vietnamese teenagers tend to watch Korean romantic films because of following the popular movie trend. However, I believe that entertaining films should be taken into consideration because viewers do not remember all the film content after watching. On the other hand, the educational value should be developed in films because of the positive influence on people's minds in society. Filmmakers want to convey different meaningful messages in life that affect to audience’s minds in thoughts and actions, therefore raising citizens’ awareness. For example, most schools in Finland apply a teaching method that broadens students’ knowledge effectively by watching documentaries and science fiction films. I believe this school of thought is preferable because educational films can guide people to do good moral things and have a practical problem- solving skills. In conclusion, although the main purpose of films is to relax to get more viewers, the educational factor of films should be developed because audiences can raise their awareness in society and that is why the educational value is a more preferable option.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
education should be in films, while others argue that entertainment is the main goal of films to become popular with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
viewers. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
films can develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
thinking in life.

On the one hand, films have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose to relax, which is widespread to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of spectators. Most entertainment films have one general structure and simple content that easy to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attracting wide audiences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and enjoy leads to popularity. According to the survey of Oxford University, 80% of Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Korean romantic films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of following the popular movie trend.
However
, I believe that entertaining films should
be taken
into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
viewers do not remember all the film content after watching.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
value should
be developed
in films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's minds in society. Filmmakers want to convey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
meaningful messages in life that affect to audience’s minds in thoughts and actions,
therefore
raising citizens’ awareness.
For example
, most schools in Finland apply a teaching method that broadens students’ knowledge
effectively
by watching documentaries and science fiction films. I believe this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is preferable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
films can guide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral things and have a practical problem- solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, although the main purpose of films is to relax to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more viewers, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
factor of films should
be developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
audiences can raise their awareness in society and
that is
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
value is a more preferable option.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. But others say films should have educational value. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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