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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.27

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 27
A decade ago, there was a food scarcity in the world which had raised the issue of hunger. Although due to the advancement of technology, many things have been changed in agriculture sector such as methods of cultivation, but still the world is facing the problem of starving. This essay will discuss the reasons why it is happening and also what measure can be put into account to solve this issue. One of the reasons is that inadequate food resources which lead to the starvation. As many individuals do not have jobs to earn the money so how can they purchase eatable things for themselves? Next, access to meals and water are not provided by the government to the public in the rural areas. However, insufficient income is the cause of an increase in revenues in the world. Hence there are many reasons behind this issue which globe is facing today. On the flip side, free food can be an option in the areas of extreme poverty where people do not have enough money to buy food for themselves so state authorities should give them some sort of help by giving foodstuffs. However, encouraging citizens to lend a helping hand towards the poor can be the best way to reach those who are dying from hunger as government is not reachable to everyone or international official as well. Therefore, information should be spread regarding free meals in every part of the globe through social media platforms. To conclude, I would like to state that these days still world is going through hunger beside the advancement of agricultural supplies. I think there are certain reasons due to which it is still faced by the world today, but it can be completely removed by the government and individuals if they work together.
A decade ago, there was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which had raised the issue of hunger. Although due to the advancement of technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in agriculture sector such as methods of cultivation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is facing the problem of starving. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why it is happening and
also
what measure can
be put
into account to solve this issue.

One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is that inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
resources which lead to the starvation. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals do not have jobs to earn the money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
eatable things for themselves?
Next
, access to meals and water are not provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to the public in the rural areas.
However
, insufficient income is the cause of an increase in revenues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this issue which globe is facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

On the flip side, free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be an option in the areas of extreme poverty where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
state authorities should give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by giving foodstuffs.
However
, encouraging citizens to lend a helping hand towards the poor can be the best way to reach those who are dying from hunger as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not reachable to everyone or international official
as well
.
Therefore
, information should
be spread
regarding free meals in every part of the globe through social media platforms.

To conclude
, I would like to state that these days
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is going through hunger beside the advancement of agricultural supplies. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
due to which it is
still
faced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can be completely removed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals if they work together.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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