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Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Do you think this is positive development and negative development. v.2

Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Do you think this is positive development and negative development. v. 2
It is estimated by scientists that auto driven cars will the driver based ones. Certainly, i think computer besed cars would be more helpful in eliminating numbers of accidents and traffic problems. To begin with automatic cars play a crucial role in saving lives of human beings. This is because number of softwares are installed in cars to monitor the machinery of cars and give instructions to recognize any distress such as animals, holes, destruction of roads etcetera. Whilst a person avoid these issues upto certain extent, but autonomous machinery can detact it far away and take perfect decisions that is suitable to circumstances. Consequently this function lead to accuracy that in turn give guarantee people safety and try to avoid fatal accidents as much as possible. This has been proven during 2011 trials of self driven cars in Singapore with the result around 78 %less chances of accidents as per expectated. Probing further, this advancement in automotive vehicles also cause to ease congestion on busy roads. Actually, self driven cars are leased with a feature where a car can communicate to others same cars to keep maintain a certain distance and also follow the rules and regulations so to not trap in any issue due to which others get stucked. For example, a recently toyata automotive company recorded a highly declined number in traffic jam due to automated cars. Consequently save some precious to use in something else important. To sum up, highly featured driverless cars are quite beneficial in providing safety and less congestion of vehicles. Undoubtedly, researchers present an estimation about huge presence of autonomous cars within upcoming years.
It
is estimated
by scientists that auto driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will the driver based ones.
Certainly
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
besed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
would be more helpful in eliminating numbers of accidents and traffic problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
play a crucial role in saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of human beings. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
are installed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to monitor the machinery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and give instructions to recognize any distress such as animals, holes, destruction of roads etcetera. Whilst a person avoid these issues
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
certain extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
autonomous machinery can
Possible spelling mistake found.
detact
it far away and take perfect decisions
that is
suitable to circumstances.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
this function lead to accuracy that in turn give guarantee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
safety and try to avoid fatal accidents as much as possible. This has
been proven
during 2011 trials of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in Singapore with the result around 78
Possible spelling mistake found.
%less
chances of accidents as per
Possible spelling mistake found.
expectated
.

Probing
further
, this advancement in automotive vehicles
also
cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
congestion on busy roads. Actually,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are leased
with a feature where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
can communicate to others same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
maintain a certain distance and
also
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to not trap in any issue due to which others
Possible spelling mistake found.
get stucked
.
For example
, a recently
Possible spelling mistake found.
toyata
automotive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
recorded a
highly
declined number in traffic jam due to automated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in something else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

To sum up,
highly
featured driverless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are quite beneficial in providing safety and less congestion of vehicles.
Undoubtedly
, researchers present an estimation about huge presence of autonomous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
within upcoming years.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Do you think this is positive development and negative development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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