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Some people believe that the internet has positive effect, others think that It has negative trends. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that the internet has positive effect, others think that It has negative trends. v. 1
Some individuals think that, website have a lot of advantages while, others see that, it has negative trends. In my opinion the internet its plenty of advantages This essay will discuss the both point of view. On the one hand, some people believe that the internet has become an integral part in our life, because it is used in their work and their home for example, some users can send an email to companies In addition, the internet helps student in learning process because the student is able to learn through different website via internet such as Google, Bing, You tube and Edx. To illustrate, I read an article which was published in Ahram news, the majority pupils prefer studying via internet to going to schools. This because that, it helps the student to understand their lessons more oblivious, while he goes to school, and he found a lot of students in the classroom he cannot concentrate in explaining. Therefore, the internet its many benefits in our daily life. On the other hand, some individuals think that the internet has negative impact especially on teenagers because, it causes waste of their time for example, there are youngsters who are able to chat with their friends through a lot of several website like Sky be, Facebook, Whatsapp and Twitter all day and they do not found time for studying their substance. Moreover, the internet causes serious on children. This because that there are some dangerous website which help damage offspring. This thing needs to follows up from parents. For example, I saw an article on BBC channel which was talked about negative trends to internet, and 60% percentage of youth consumed their time for watching these website this due to do not monitor from their parents especially when they are busy. To conclude, after the both views I Think that the internet has a lot of advantages than disadvantage because it is helped people in their job and their studying and the government should be supported this thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages while, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends. In my opinion the internet its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages This essay will discuss the both point of view.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the internet has become an integral part in our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in their work and their home
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
users can
Consider using "email".
send an email to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
In addition
, the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in learning process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is able to learn through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
via internet such as Google, Bing,
This word is normally spelled as one.
You tube
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Edx
. To illustrate, I read an article which
was published
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ahram
news, the majority pupils prefer studying via internet to going to schools. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to understand their lessons more oblivious, while he goes to school, and he found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the classroom he cannot concentrate in explaining.
Therefore
, the internet its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in our daily life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact
especially
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it causes waste of their time
for example
, there are youngsters who are able to chat with their friends through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
like Sky be, Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
and Twitter all
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they do not found time for studying their substance.
Moreover
, the internet causes serious on children. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "websites"?
website
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
damage offspring. This thing needs to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "follow".
follows
up from parents.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an article on BBC channel which
was talked
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends to internet, and 60% percentage of youth consumed their time for watching these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
this due to do not monitor from their parents
especially
when they are busy.

To conclude
, after the both views I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
that the internet has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages than disadvantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their job and their studying and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
be supported
this thing
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people believe that the internet has positive effect, others think that It has negative trends. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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