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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists To what extent do you agree? v.1

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists v. 1
In the past 100 years, scientists have escalated the technology to a new higher level. Increasing in the number of technology inventions has already appeared into the world and improved the life quality. Since after that, human start to enjoy spiritual pleasure such as music and art. There is a debate about whether scientists outweigh musicians and artists. I strongly agree that scientists gain more attention from public than others. A large number of technology achievements have surprised the world like the first step on the Moon and video call from mobile phone. Scientist are using technology not only to explore the universe but also improve the quality of daily life. The innovation of technology can be clearly seen in various field. For example, renewable energy starts to replace the oil and gas, people use phone to communicate with others instead of writing letter. In addition, scientists are trying to locate another plant which is suitable for human to survive in the future. Thus, scientists are a group of people who are really changing the world by using technology. By contrast, the contributions of musicians and artists are less obvious than scientists. Some musicians have created new styles of music, meanwhile, several masterpieces have produced by couple artists. However, the awareness of these activities is lower than the influence by technology. On the other hand, technology helps to improve the music and art in various ways, such as drawing robot and also help to compose melody efficiently in different style. In conclusion, compare to musicians and artists, scientists have more contributions to the world. Hence, public prefer to pay more attention to these experts, as scientists keep developing new technology to lead the world into a high-quality life.
In the past 100 years,
scientists
have escalated the
technology
to a new higher level. Increasing in the number of
technology
inventions has already appeared into the
world
and
improved
the life quality. Since after that, human
start
to enjoy spiritual pleasure such as music and art. There is a debate about whether
scientists
outweigh
musicians
and
artists
. I
strongly
agree
that
scientists
gain more attention from public than others.

A large number of
technology
achievements have surprised the
world
like the
first
step on the Moon and video call from mobile phone.
Scientist
are using
technology
not
only
to explore the universe
but
also
improve
the quality of daily life. The innovation of
technology
can be
clearly
seen
in various field.
For example
, renewable energy
starts
to replace the oil and gas,
people
use
phone to communicate with others
instead
of writing letter.
In addition
,
scientists
are trying to locate another plant which is suitable for human to survive in the future.
Thus
,
scientists
are a group of
people
who are
really
changing the
world
by using technology.

By contrast, the contributions of
musicians
and
artists
are less obvious than
scientists
.
Some
musicians
have created new styles of music, meanwhile, several masterpieces have produced by couple
artists
.
However
, the awareness of these activities is lower than the influence by
technology
.
On the other hand
,
technology
helps
to
improve
the music and art in various ways, such as drawing robot and
also
help
to compose melody
efficiently
in
different
style.

In conclusion
, compare to
musicians
and
artists
,
scientists
have more contributions to the
world
.
Hence
, public prefer to pay more attention to these experts, as
scientists
keep
developing new
technology
to lead the
world
into a high-quality life.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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