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Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together by making the world smaller. Others disagree, claiming that the internet has made people and communities more isolated because they no longer need to leave home and interact with oth v.2

Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together by making the world smaller. Others disagree, claiming that the internet has made people and communities more isolated because they no longer need to leave home and interact with oth v. 2
No need to say, in today’s world the internet has affected people’s lives worldwide. Now, some people claim that the internet has brought people together by shrinking the distance between them, however, others counter the opposite view by stating that it has disengaged people because they do everything by internet without any interaction with others. Both views have merits as will be demonstrated in the following essay. First, the internet has made it more convenient for people to do meaningful works for each other which brings them closer to one another. To clarify, the internet is used as a helpful instrument in variety aspects of today’s people’s daily life, developing business, sharing ideas, providing information, and most importantly recognizing other’s pain. To concentrate on later mentioned concern, there are many institutions and campaigns working in the line of helping humans, in which case, communication network can become vital-useful. To illustrate, when an earthquake happens, its news spreads online, thus, individuals and campaigns can help those people by transferring money or goods just by browsing in the charity websites. For example, I remember the earthquake of Varzaghan --one of the cities of Tabriz in Iran--it was unbelievable how people all around the world volunteered to help afflicted people after a few hours; although the real distance between them was thousands of miles, but their heart was very close because of the internet. Had not been the internet, probably people would have been homeless for months. That being said, some people consider that clicking on the button is a means to apart people from each other. In other words, of course social media, online shops, and other activities which are internet-based can impact people' s lives adversely by prolonging their distance. Considering online markets, when a hypothetical person purchases his jeans, food, drink, shoes just by navigating through the internet, he would not come face-to-face with the people around him because his needs are home just by clicking some buttons! . Meanwhile, it can impact him habitually, lessen his tendency to direct communication, and as a result make him separate from others. To sum up, cyberspace can not only bring people to each other meaningfully but also disconnect them in the real world at the same time. Thus, it is up to everyone to decide their engagement and amount of being on the internet.
No need to say, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
worldwide.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the internet has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together by shrinking the distance between them,
however
, others counter the opposite view by stating that it has disengaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do everything by internet without any interaction with others. Both views have merits as will
be demonstrated
in the following essay.

First
, the internet has made it more convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do meaningful works for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
which brings them closer to one another. To clarify, the internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a helpful instrument in variety aspects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life, developing business, sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, providing information, and most
importantly
recognizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
pain. To concentrate on later mentioned concern, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
institutions and campaigns working in the line of helping humans, in which case, communication network can become vital-useful.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
To
illustrate, when an earthquake happens, its news spreads online,
thus
, individuals and campaigns can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by transferring money or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by browsing in the charity websites.
For example
, I remember the earthquake of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Varzaghan
--one of the cities of Tabriz in Iran--it was unbelievable how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world volunteered to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
afflicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after a few hours; although the real distance between them was thousands of miles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their heart was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet. Had not been the internet,
probably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have been homeless for months.

That
being said
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that clicking on the button is a means to apart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
of course
social media, online shops, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities which are internet-based can impact
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
adversely
by prolonging their distance. Considering online markets, when a hypothetical person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
his jeans, food, drink, shoes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by navigating through the internet, he would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
face-to-face with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his needs are home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by clicking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
buttons!
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Meanwhile, it can impact him
habitually
, lessen his tendency to direct communication, and
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him separate from others.

To sum up, cyberspace can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
meaningfully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
disconnect them in the real world at the same time.
Thus
, it is up to everyone to decide their engagement and amount of being on the internet.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together by making the world smaller. Others disagree, claiming that the internet has made people and communities more isolated because they no longer need to leave home and interact with oth v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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