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Some people believe that the government should ban dangerous sporting activities, while others think that people should have the freedom to do whatever sports they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that the government should ban dangerous sporting activities, while others think that people should have the freedom to do whatever sports they choose. v. 2
Adventures sports have been in vogue in last one decade and people get utmost satisfaction post completion. It has negative side as well so some people believe that government should have control on these kinds of sports and impose ban if required. I believe that choice should be given to people to play these games or not. People who think that dangerous games should be banned have some valid arguments. First and foremost, playing these games is risky and prone to inflict injuries or sometimes may be fatal. It is generally seen that adventures games do not have strict guidelines and people are unaware about the security precautions they should take while playing such games. For instance, river rafting is common adventures sports but does not have international body which reviews the guidelines in timely manner. Also, most of the adventures games require costly accessories in order to protect the enthusiast, consequently, some people involve in games without necessary guards and suffer invariably. However, some people take pride to carry out activities full of risks and enjoy these moments. Human nature is to discover new things and set challenge for themselves for getting feeling of accomplishment. Adventures people develop a skill to come-over the difficulties in high time and such skills help them in handling the real life situation. For instance, virgin Atlantic airlines CEO took the balloon ride to cover the Atlantic Ocean and on completion, he mentioned that similar attitude also reflects in taking business decision. Besides, dangerous games develop self-dependence as these are played mostly in difficult conditions and members have to do all things on its own. To conclude, though, dangerous games have risk of injury or life, teach different lesson of life and develop confidence to face the uncertainties of life. Government should allow people to choose the game they want to play.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adventures
sports have been in vogue in last one decade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
utmost satisfaction post completion. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have control on these kinds of sports and impose ban if required. I believe that choice should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to play these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or not.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
should
be banned
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid arguments.
First
and foremost, playing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is risky and prone to inflict injuries or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may be fatal. It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not have strict guidelines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware about the security precautions they should take while playing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For instance
, river rafting is common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventures
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does not have international body which reviews the guidelines in timely manner.
Also
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
require costly accessories in order to protect the enthusiast,
consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
without necessary guards and suffer
invariably
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take pride to carry out activities full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and enjoy these moments. Human nature is to discover new things and set challenge for themselves for getting feeling of accomplishment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adventures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
-over the difficulties in high time and such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in handling the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
situation.
For instance
, virgin Atlantic airlines CEO took the balloon ride to cover the Atlantic Ocean and on completion, he mentioned that similar attitude
also
reflects in taking business decision.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
develop self-dependence as these
are played
mostly
in difficult conditions and members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do all things on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

To conclude
, though,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of injury or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lesson of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and develop confidence to face the uncertainties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose the game they want to play.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the government should ban dangerous sporting activities, while others think that people should have the freedom to do whatever sports they choose. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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