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Computer may have both positive and negative effects on children. Computer may build and destroy child’s behavior? Do you agree or disagree? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Computer may have both positive and negative effects on children. Computer may build and destroy child’s behavior? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2
There has always been debate on benefits and dis-benefits of computer on children. While some people believe that it is interfering in the conventional way of teaching, other assert that computer has lot more to offer for everyone including children and children can learn myriad of things with the help of computer. I believe that there are enormous advantages of this machine and children can get benefitted a lot. The power of computer can be leveraged in various areas of child developments. First and foremost, computer is infinite source of information and with the help of programs and applications; kids may learn different subjects on its own. Nowadays, internet is also provided on computer and virtually any information can be gathered sitting at home. For example, my niece who has keen interest in international cosines, searched cooking receipt of Italian food and now expert in making pizza at home. Secondly, there are different games available in markets which are designed to increase the independence and patience among children. Computer games not only a favorite time-pass for children but also develop cognitive skills in young people where children are required to understand the games and apply their logic to win over the computer strategy. As a result, children develop the attitude to face the challenge and try to find the way to come across. For example, youngest scientist in U. K confirmed in interview that computer games especially chess improved this thought process and now he can think fast like computer. Finally, it leaves lasting impression on child behavior as children start to develop more affinity towards gadgets and some people term this as destroying behavior. Granted in some cases, excessive use leads to different issues such as alienation from family and friends and others but it can be taken in the way children are getting more interest in their subjects and likely to more confident and thought-full with themselves. To sum-up, Though over use of computer may harm the children and change their behavior, usefulness of computer cannot be denied and it will continue to be more popular in future and with the help of little supervision, children may get benefitted vastly.
There has always been debate on benefits and dis-benefits of computer on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is interfering in the conventional way of teaching, other assert that computer has lot more to offer for everyone including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn myriad of things with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computer. I believe that there are enormous advantages of this machine and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
a lot.

The power of computer can
be leveraged
in various areas of child developments.
First
and foremost, computer is infinite source of information and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of programs and applications; kids may learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Nowadays, internet is
also
provided on computer and
virtually
any information can
be gathered
sitting at home.
For example
, my niece who has keen interest in international cosines, searched cooking receipt of Italian food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
expert in making pizza at home.

Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
available in markets which
are designed
to increase the independence and patience among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a favorite time-pass for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are required
to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and apply their logic to win over the computer strategy.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop the attitude to face the challenge and try to find the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across.
For example
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the youngest".
youngest
scientist in U. K confirmed in interview that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
especially
chess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
like computer.
Finally
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
lasting impression on child behavior as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to develop more affinity towards gadgets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
term this as destroying behavior. Granted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues such as alienation from family and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be taken
in the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting more interest in their subjects and likely to more confident and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-full with themselves.

To sum-up, Though over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer may harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their behavior, usefulness of computer cannot
be denied
and it will continue to be more popular in future and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
supervision,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
vastly
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Computer may have both positive and negative effects on children. Computer may build and destroy child’s behavior? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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