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Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. To what extend is this a positive or a negative development? v.2

Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. v. 2
Items under copyright are generally for exclusive users who abide by the terms and conditions of the copyright holder. Latest technology has enabled the people to download the copyrighted information, picture, music, books and so on without fulfilling the guidelines under the copyright. I believe that this trend is certainly not encouraging as knowingly or unknowingly, people violate the laws. People obtain the exclusive rights on items after spending efforts, money or other personal resources and such kind of rights protect the person from copycat or unauthorized users. Downloading music or books which are under limited rights without consent of owner is illegal and violators may be subject to prosecution. For example, my friend used the copyrighted song in his corporate presentation and later on got notice for illegal use of songs without permission. Furthermore, owner who creates or invent the product for financial gain incur heavy loss as people do not pay anything in return of download. As result, industries such as entertainment, publishing, designing etc. go through difficult times and sometimes closedown the operation. Not only the financial loss and illegal use but downloading from internet also disturb the ecosystem of innovation. Why would someone invest time and money in creating the music if it does not pay the return? These habits of downloading restricted stuff from internet dissuade people to go for invention. For instance, in Bollywood, no of original music composers reduced significantly owing to no control on web access. Besides, lots of industries come in conflict with masses when applying control on free downloading and initiate action against violators. To sum-up, though internet is free and people have every right to get benefit from information available on internet, copyright information should not be used and download free of cost without consent of owner. I see this as disturbing pattern when people access information without permission or pay any cost.
Items under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copyright
are
generally
for exclusive users who abide by the terms and conditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copyright
holder.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Latest".
Latest
technology has enabled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to download the copyrighted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, picture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, books and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on without fulfilling the guidelines under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copyright
. I believe that this trend is
certainly
not encouraging as
knowingly
or
unknowingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
violate the laws.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
obtain the exclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
on items after spending efforts, money or other personal resources and such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
protect the person from copycat or unauthorized users.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Downloading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or books which are under limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
without consent of owner is illegal and violators may be subject to prosecution.
For example
, my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the copyrighted song in his corporate presentation and later on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
notice for illegal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of songs without permission.
Furthermore
, owner who creates or invent the product for financial gain incur heavy loss as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not pay anything in return of download. As result, industries such as entertainment, publishing, designing etc. go through difficult times and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
closedown
the operation.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the financial loss and illegal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
from internet
also
disturb the ecosystem of innovation. Why would someone invest time and money in creating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
if it does not pay the return? These habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
restricted stuff from internet dissuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go for invention.
For instance
, in Bollywood,
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
of original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
composers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
owing to no control on web access.
Besides
, lots of industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in conflict with masses when applying control on free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
and initiate action against violators.

To sum-up, though internet is free and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
available on internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copyright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and download free of cost without consent of owner. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this as disturbing pattern when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
without permission or pay any cost.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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