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Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families v. 1
Some argue that the high speed and pressure of new living adversely affect families. I completely agree that the fast pace and stress have negative effects on family life. Firstly, I will discuss the consequences of not spending enough time on home life and secondly, discuss how job stress affects married life. Spending less time with family is the cause of a range of family problems. Members do not meet each other often or with their assistance when needed. As a result, they feel lonely in their own house, so slowly family members become strangers. For example, children born and raised in families whose parents are busy with tasks often do not feel family affection and are easily seduced and dragged into social evils. Eventually, a conflict began to rise, parents blaming each other for the problems of their children, fading family sentiments and broken family background. Broken marriages often start with a lot of work pressure. People cannot get rid of everything at the company and often bring them home. When a person is under a lot of stress, they are no longer rational and loving enough to act properly with those around them, especially their spouse. The two begin to reveal and develop weaknesses that make their partners tired and gradually depressed. A recent survey has shown that the rate of breakage in marriage in high-pressure industries is much higher than in other fields. In conclusion, I totally agree that with the view that house living is heavily influenced by the pressures and hustle of modern society.
Some
argue that the high speed and pressure of new living
adversely
affect
families
. I completely
agree
that the
fast
pace and
stress
have
negative
effects on
family
life.
Firstly
, I will discuss the consequences of not spending
enough
time on home life and
secondly
, discuss how job
stress
affects married life.

Spending less time with
family
is the cause of a range of
family
problems. Members do not
meet
each other
often
or with their assistance when needed.
As a result
, they feel lonely in their
own
house
,
so
slowly
family
members become strangers.
For example
, children born and raised in
families
whose parents are busy with tasks
often
do not feel
family
affection and are
easily
seduced and dragged into social evils.
Eventually
, a conflict began to rise, parents blaming each other for the problems of their children, fading
family
sentiments and broken
family
background.

Broken marriages
often
start
with
a lot of
work pressure.
People
cannot
get
rid of everything at the
company
and
often
bring them home. When a person is under
a lot of
stress
, they are no longer rational and loving
enough
to act
properly
with those around them,
especially
their spouse. The two
begin
to reveal and develop weaknesses that
make
their partners tired and
gradually
depressed. A recent survey has shown that the rate of breakage in marriage in high-pressure industries is much higher than in other fields.

In conclusion
, I
totally
agree
that with the view that
house
living is
heavily
influenced by the pressures and hustle of modern society.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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