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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. v.22

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. v. 22
With the advent of urbanization and the rise in popularity of advertisements, many products have created a positive wave amongst the people in society and improved their lives better. However, some people believe that product promotion is nothing but introducing a new product. Indeed, to my mind, there is strong evidence that advertising a product would help to make our life becomes more prosperous and advanced. In this essay, I shall refer to the number of sociological studies that support this view. To begin with, promoting a product is necessary. This is because, through the advertisements, consumers mostly know about the product would overcome the drawbacks of the existing products or have been improved of the advanced features. For example, in the United States, most consumers used blackberry mobiles for their daily work activities. After sometimes, the apple company has made a mass advertisement for their IOS mobile and has more featured over blackberry, it has created a hype around the consumer market. It is therefore clear that advertisements make our life to easily navigate our daily activities far better. Secondly, the ignorance of advertising a product, the product can be overlooked. This is because we live in a speed environment and time is more questioned to spend on extra other things. Therefore, we may skip the product by chance if there is no promotion for the product and keep binding with existing things. For example, the Hindustan lever limited has introduced a detergent soap recently and it has more advanced. However, it has reached only fewer counts due to the lack of promotion. Seen in this light, product promotion can be vital for creating a reach in the consumer market. To conclude, I strongly agree with the notion that advisements for the products should be essentially needed for fulfilling customer demands and better improvement of human life.
With the advent of urbanization and the rise in popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have created a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
wave amongst the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
promotion is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
introducing a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Indeed
, to my mind, there is strong evidence that advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life becomes more prosperous and advanced. In this essay, I shall refer to the number of sociological studies that support this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is necessary. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
mostly
know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
would overcome the drawbacks of the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
of the advanced features.
For example
, in the United States, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
blackberry mobiles for their daily work activities. After
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, the apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has made a mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
for their IOS mobile and has more featured over blackberry, it has created a hype around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
market. It is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life to
easily
navigate our daily activities far better.

Secondly
, the ignorance of advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
can
be overlooked
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a speed environment and time is more questioned to spend on extra other things.
Therefore
, we may skip the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by chance if there is no promotion for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
binding with existing things.
For example
, the Hindustan lever limited has introduced a detergent soap recently and it has more advanced.
However
, it has reached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fewer counts due to the lack of promotion.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Seen
in this light,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
promotion can be vital for creating a reach in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
market.

To conclude
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
Possible spelling mistake found.
advisements
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should be
essentially
needed for fulfilling customer demands and better improvement of human life.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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