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Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. v. 3
Many people feel that family life is being harmed by the high-speed and pressure off Contemporary lifestyles. I somewhat agree with this opinion because the fast pace leads to Less time for families to be together, and stress leads to arguments between family members; However, due to the increased time pressure and stress families are forced to cooperate More, which brings them closer together. The main reason why I believe family life is being compromised is because families have less Time to be with each other. As individual family members are busier at work and with theirs Social lives, they have less time to spend with their family. As well as this, people have many Things they have to do these days such as checking email, updating their online social status And so less time is left for family life. To illustrate, I spend about two hours online every night Attending to daily correspondence before chatting with my family members, whereas ten Years ago I would spend time with my family from the moment I walked in the door. In addition, the pressure of life these days means that even when families do get together Arguments are more likely. This is because everyone feels tired and they are more likely to Get irritated and to react to their heightened emotional levels. However, it does seem reasonable that this pressure may also lead to positive outcomes. One such possibility is that family members will cooperate more in order to overcome time Limitations. For instance, they may share household chores, so that everybody has time to Relax afterwards. In conclusion, I somewhat believe that the rapid pace and stressful nature of contemporary Lifestyles are having negative consequences on family relationships. This is because family Members have less time, and when they are together they feel less relaxed. However, I admit That sometimes adversity can bring people closer together. Given this situation, it seems that Family members should try to be more supportive of one another and also parents need to Set aside regular times for families to relax together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
being harmed
by the high-speed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
off

Contemporary lifestyles. I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace leads to

Less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to be together, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
leads to arguments between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members;

However
, due to the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are forced
to cooperate

More, which brings them closer together.

The main reason why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
being compromised
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have less

Time to be with each other. As individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are busier at work and with theirs

Social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
As well
as this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many


Things they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do these days such as checking email, updating their online social status

And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate, I spend about two hours online every night

Attending to daily correspondence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
chatting with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, whereas ten

Years ago I would spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from the moment I walked in the door.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
these days means that even when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together

Arguments are more likely. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone feels
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tired and
they are more likely to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
irritated and to react to their heightened emotional levels.

However
, it does seem reasonable that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
may
also
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes.

One such possibility is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
will cooperate more in order to overcome time

Limitations.
For instance
, they may share household chores,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everybody has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to

Relax afterwards.

In conclusion
, I somewhat believe that the rapid pace and stressful nature of contemporary

Lifestyles are having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
family

Members have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and when they are together they feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
relaxed.
However
, I admit

That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
adversity can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
closer together.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it seems that

Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
should try to be more supportive of one another and
also
parents need to

Set aside regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to relax together.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. v. 3

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
347 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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