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Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Arts is an important sector for the authority of any nations, to invest in. Arts encourages tourism in a particular nation. It gives an opportunity for the country to exhibit her culture, style and lifestyle to visitors. But should the Health and Education sectors be forgone for the Arts? This essay will discuss the advantages fir both investments. However, in my opinion, spending more wealth on health and education should be prioritised. Firstly, Arts is unarguably the image of a particular country. Their way of life is arts to tourists who come visiting. Financial attention should be paid to the arts, in order to their tourist attractions in good shapes and ensure it stays captivating as it should. For example, In 2016, the Nigeria disbursed a certain sum of cash to beautify and reconstruct most of the country's waterfalls and some game reserves, to keep them beautiful and also to make it worth its price. Therefore, the government may spend more money on Arts because it is another source of income for the government. While we talk about how important investments in the arts are, the necessity of the government to also invest a lot of money on health and education, cannot be overemphasised. Every citizen of a country deserves good health. The government needs to ensure the health sector is not in a needy state. Furthermore, the education system also needs financial intervention, as that will birth the leaders of tomorrow. For instance, a country where the health and education sector fails, is as good as been called a failed state; because there will be a decline in the workforce, as the population will reduce drastically due to deaths from different causes, as a result of the poor health care system. Also, the youths will be less productive due to lack of good education. In conclusion, developing arts and culture is important as it is a way of showcasing the lifestyle of the country to foreigners and also serve as a profit making organisation for the government. However, the health and education needs more attention as every citizen of the nation, deserves to stay healthy. Moreover, all youths deserve a quality education. In my opinion, the health and education needs to be heavily invested in, in order to keep the citizens safe, sane and sound.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
for the authority of any nations, to invest in.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "art encourages".
Arts encourages
tourism in a particular nation. It gives an opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to exhibit her culture, style and lifestyle to visitors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
should the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
be forgone for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
? This essay will discuss the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "advantages'" or "advantage's"?
advantages
fir both investments.
However
, in my opinion, spending more wealth on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is
unarguably
the image of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Their way of life is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
to tourists who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
visiting. Financial attention should
be paid
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, in order to their tourist attractions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
shapes and ensure it stays captivating as it should.
For example
, In 2016, the Nigeria disbursed a certain sum of cash to beautify and reconstruct most of the country's waterfalls and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
game reserves, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it worth its price.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is another source of income for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

While we talk about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
investments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are, the necessity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
also
invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'overemphasised' is British English.
overemphasised
. Every citizen of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
deserves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is not in a needy state.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
financial intervention, as that will birth the leaders of tomorrow.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
fails, is as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
as
been called
a failed state;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will be a decline in the workforce, as the population will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
drastically
due to deaths from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
causes,
as a result
of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system.
Also
, the youths will be less productive due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education.

In conclusion
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and culture is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it is a way of showcasing the lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to foreigners and
also
serve as a profit making
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more attention as every citizen of the nation, deserves to stay healthy.
Moreover
, all youths deserve a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be
heavily
invested in, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the citizens safe, sane and sound.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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