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Question: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Question: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The use of computers in our daily life is on a steep rise as it is an essential tool used both in our professional and personal life. Many believe that introduction to computers at a young age has a detrimental effect on children. While this holds true up to a certain extent when this affects their physical activity and face to face interaction with peers their own age. Personally, I believe that there should be a balance and constant supervision by parents. However, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Firstly, Computers are a huge source of information that will allow children to explore topics based on their interests and at their own pace. For example, Google, Wikipedia can provide any information within seconds. This ease of availability opens multiple options for children to explore and expand their interest. Computer based games are also known to improve dexterity in children, which is an added advantage. The downside of this ability to access information is their vulnerability to being exploited and bullied online. Children with their trusting nature tend to be easy targets for online predators and the possibility of being bullied is significantly higher due to anonymity internet provides. To neutralize this, periodic monitoring by parents is an absolute necessity. In conclusion, in life there is always a possibility of being exploited and bullied this can be avoided by taking a few simple precautions. The information and ability to access it regardless of age is an advantage that cannot be downplayed. Hence, a balance approach will help reduce risks.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in our daily life is on a steep rise as it is an essential tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
both in our professional and personal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that introduction to computers at a young age has a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While this holds true up to a certain extent when this affects their physical activity and face to face interaction with peers their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
age.
Personally
, I believe that there should be a balance and constant supervision by parents.
However
, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

Firstly
, Computers are a huge source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to explore topics based on their interests and at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.
For example
, Google, Wikipedia can provide any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
within seconds. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of availability opens multiple options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to explore and expand their interest. Computer based games are
also
known to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
dexterity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage.

The downside of this ability to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is their vulnerability to
being exploited
and bullied online.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
with their trusting nature tend to be easy targets for online predators and the possibility of
being bullied
is
significantly
higher due to anonymity internet provides. To neutralize this, periodic monitoring by parents is an absolute necessity.

In conclusion
, in life there is always a possibility of
being exploited
and bullied this can
be avoided
by taking a few simple precautions. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and ability to access it regardless of age is an advantage that cannot
be downplayed
.
Hence
, a balance approach will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Question: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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