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In 1938 an archaeologist in Iraq acquired a set of clay jars that had been excavated two years earlier by villagers constructing a railroad line. The vessel was about 2, 200 years old. Each clay jar contained a copper cylinder surrounding an iron rod. The v.1

In 1938 an archaeologist in Iraq acquired a set of clay jars that had been excavated two years earlier by villagers constructing a railroad line. The vessel was about 2, 200 years old. Each clay jar contained a copper cylinder surrounding an iron rod. The v. 1
These days, the regime spends a large part of its budget not only on public services, but also the arts. Although I agree that it is important to spend money on public services, I do not think spending on the arts is a waste of cash. There are several reasons for spending a significant amount of the authority budget on public services. First and foremost, public services are the things such as hospitals, roads and schools, and these things determine the quality of life that most of us will have. For example, if the government does not spend enough money on hospitals, the health of our society may decline. Similarly, if not enough bill is spent on our schools, children may not be properly educated. Also, it will be the poor in our society that will be affected more if we do not spend enough on these things because they are the ones more dependent on such services. However, this does not mean that the arts should be completely neglected. To begin, it is difficult for many arts institutions to generate much profit, so without some help from the government, many theatres and other such places may have to close. Moreover, the arts also have an important impact on our quality of life. Many people get great pleasure in going to see music and theatre performances so it is important that the government assists such institutions so that they can continue to provide entertainment to the public. To sum up, there are clear benefits of ensuring a large amount of investment goes into public services as this influences the quality of life for nearly all of us. That said, I do not believe in spending money on the arts is a waste of cash as this too provides important benefits.
These days, the regime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
a large part of its budget not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
spending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of cash.

There are several reasons for spending a significant amount of the authority budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are the things such as hospitals, roads and schools, and these things determine the quality of life that most of us will have.
For example
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money on hospitals, the health of our society may decline.
Similarly
, if not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
bill
is spent
on our schools, children may not be
properly
educated.
Also
, it will be the poor in our society that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
more if we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
on these things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the ones more dependent on such services.

However
, this does not mean that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be completely neglected. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it is difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
institutions to generate much profit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and other such places may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
also
have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
impact on our quality of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
great pleasure in going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
performances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
assists such institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can continue to provide entertainment to the public.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits of ensuring a large amount of investment goes into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as this influences the quality of life for
nearly
all of us. That said, I do not believe in spending money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of cash as this too provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
benefits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay In 1938 an archaeologist in Iraq acquired a set of clay jars that had been excavated two years earlier by villagers constructing a railroad line. The vessel was about 2, 200 years old. Each clay jar contained a copper cylinder surrounding an iron rod. The v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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