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Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? v.2

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? v. 2
In my opinion, I think we are damaging the Earth by our activities. Earth from the beginning was a good place for living. Human just builds some tools and invents activities to live more convenient on the Earth. I think these are separate from each other completely. We are damaging the Earth by some activities like pumping a lot of water and oil, we are depleting some irresolvable energy from the Earth. Every day scientists are warning about this phenomenon. During years of using fuel and emit some smog and some greenhouse gases to the air, the Ozone layer has been destroyed. Ozone protect us from some of dangerous sun rays. If this crevice raise up, it will be a big threat for our health and life. By passing the time, the Earth has changed a lot. As long as we weren' t on the Earth until now, it undergoes some changes. At the beginning God changed it to be a place for us to live on it. Some changes like appearance of sea, mountains, volcanoes, beautiful prospects and many other things that were created in order to make it a place for living. So I think human activity has nothing to make it a better place to live. However we invent somethings to live better and in a more convenient way. Human activities are damaging the Earth because we are producing somethings that is not good for it. During the last decades population has grown a lot and they are using the energy as much as they can. Earth is the main source of most of the energies and each source one day would cease and finish. In agriculture we are cultivating too much even in places there isn' t water for irrigation. In that way farmers pump up water from the wells and after a while they will evacuate. Deserts are expanding and drought is becoming one of the significant problems for us. Still we are using oil as the first fuel for our machines, oil is one of the irresolvable source, if it finishes there is no way to reproduce it. Using the oil as fuel makes the air smoggy and it produces some gases that is very dangerous for us and for the Earth. Also in this case we are the one whom harming the Earth. Although scientists invent some ways to use less amount of fuel or water and they are trying to find alternatives for them. Solar systems and electronic machines are some of the example of their inventions. I think people will reach the point that they have to keep Earth healthy, and I see we are good on it. We should respect the Earth and try to preserve it. It is the place that let us live on it.
In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we are damaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
from the beginning was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for living. Human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
builds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tools and invents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
more convenient on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
these are separate from each other completely. We are damaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like pumping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, we are depleting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
irresolvable energy from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. Every day scientists are warning about this phenomenon. During years of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
and emit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
smog and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
greenhouse gases to the air, the Ozone layer has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
. Ozone protect us from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
sun rays. If this crevice raise up, it will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat for our health and life.

By passing the time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot. As long as we
Possible spelling mistake found.
weren&
#039; t on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, it undergoes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. At the beginning God
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
it to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
like appearance of sea, mountains, volcanoes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
prospects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things that
were created
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
has nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
we invent somethings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
better and in a more convenient way.

Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are damaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are producing somethings
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for it. During the last
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "decades'" or "decade's"?
decades
population has grown a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lot and
they are using the energy as much as they can.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is the main source of most of the energies and each source one day would cease and finish. In
The comma is probably missing here: "agriculture, we".
agriculture we
are cultivating too much even in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
there
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for irrigation. In that way farmers pump up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from the wells and after a while they will evacuate. Deserts are expanding and drought is becoming one of the significant problems for us.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
we are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
as the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
for our machines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is one of the irresolvable source, if it finishes there is no way to reproduce it. Using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the air smoggy and it produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gases
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for us and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
.
Also
in this case
we are the one whom harming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. Although scientists invent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
water and
they are trying to find alternatives for them. Solar systems and electronic machines are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
example of their inventions.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will reach the point that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
healthy, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on it. We should respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
and try to preserve it. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
467 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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