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Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough 1
Being healthy is very important for every human being in the world so, all prefer various measures to be fit. Some people argue that joining the fitness center would be correct, while other people argue that rather than work out, involve in daily activities such as walking running can make very strong. However, I do think that following gym session is productive. On the one hand, a growing number of people argue that heavy physical activities will help to keep our self sustain because the gym is the only place to make our self-fit, it has professionally trained coaches to help to train in the proper way, moreover, we will work out there in a dedicative manner without feeling any laziness. Additionally, it leads to follow the diet with nutritional food On the other hand, a few sections of people think that this is effortless. In prior times our ancestors were healthier than nowadays. Those days they did not do any exercises. Therefore people believe join in the gym is full of money waste and time waste, it can be a possible fit through our daily activities. For example, door to door salesmen have to do a lot of walking. Likewise, some jobs involve the lifting of weights. People who engage in such jobs are unlikely to have to do anything extra to achieve fitness. In conclusion, even though gym training, everyday activities are acceptable to take care of our self, but it is varied from every person's choice, In my point of view I would suggest fitness clubs are more effective.
Being healthy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every human being in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, all prefer various measures to
be fit
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that joining the fitness center would be correct, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
rather
than work out, involve in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as walking running can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong.
However
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
session is productive.

On the one hand, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that heavy physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our self sustain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our self-fit, it has
professionally
trained coaches to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to train in the proper way,
moreover
, we will work out there in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedicative
manner without feeling any laziness.
Additionally
, it leads to follow the diet with nutritional food

On the other hand
, a few sections of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is effortless. In prior times our ancestors were healthier than nowadays. Those days they did not do any exercises.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is full of money waste and time waste, it can be a possible fit through our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, door to door salesmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
walking.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs involve the lifting of weights.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who engage in such jobs are unlikely to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do anything extra to achieve fitness.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
training, everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are acceptable to take care of our self,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is varied
from every person's choice, In my point of view I would suggest fitness clubs are more effective.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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