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Many people believe that social networking sites ( such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.5

Many people believe that social networking sites ( such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 5
A segment of society holds an opinion that social networking sites like Facebook have had an enormous negative influence on both people's and society. I firmly agree with the give statement to an extent because this delineates the increment in health related problems. Certain aspects relating to this situation will be discussed ahead before reaching its final verdict. To commence with, there are several reasons why this has a negative impact on society. Firstly, in order to maintain health, everyone has decreased the use of social sites and focus on the physical activity rather than the internet. Moreover, these sites also affect our body parts like the brain, eyes, and many more because the radiations which produced by mobile phones are very harmful and these radiations has negative impact on our parts of the human body. Therefore, due to all of the above reasons, social sites play a negative role in the surroundings. Proceeding further, even though with dire consequences, this also contain positive effects. Furthermore, this site helps to communicate with each other who are far from their because these contain various features like video calling and many more. Hence, due to this reason, it also ha merits. To encapsulate, although social networking sites have a negative impact, also has positive effects. All the sites should be used in limits because it helps to prevent form health hazards and maintain individual body fit.
A segment of society holds an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
like Facebook have had an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influence on both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's and society. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the give statement to an extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this delineates the increment in health related problems. Certain aspects relating to this situation will
be discussed
ahead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching its final verdict.

To commence with, there are several reasons why this has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on society.
Firstly
, in order to maintain health, everyone has decreased the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and focus on the physical activity
rather
than the internet.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
also
affect our body parts like the brain, eyes, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the radiations which produced by mobile phones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful and these radiations has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on our parts of the human body.
Therefore
, due to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
above reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
play a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
role in the surroundings.

Proceeding
further
,
even though
with dire consequences, this
also
contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to communicate with each other who are far from their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these contain various features like video calling and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Hence
, due to this reason, it
also
ha merits.

To encapsulate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact,
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in limits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
form health hazards and maintain individual body fit.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites ( such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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