Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. v. 1
Though the fee structure of the university is high, there is no guarantee for undergraduates to get good workplace after passing out and this led to the bad influence on extra curriculum subjects and because of it some people think a university should only teach subjects, which are useful to get a job. I disagree with the statement to a large extent. My inclination is justified in the ensuing paragraphs. The strongest reason to prove my point is, though field related subjects are necessary, there are many students who want to build their career in another field, so extra subjects are extremely important for those students. If learner given a chance to perform well in their interesting subject, which is their hobby too, then they would definitely work hard to achieve a goal and can make a bright and long lasting future in there interesting field. Moreover, the second reason to pursue my thought is extra curricular subjects teach many skills like, discipline, team work and decision making. Also, companies of todays world want skillfull person even if subjective knowledge is not high, they are ready for higher those extra skilled employees. This skill automatically develops in students who pursue their hobbies. However, practical subjects cannot be neglected, because without job oriented knowledge, getting a renowned workplace is next to impossible. If a person is good in extra activities, might find difficulties in searching work destination. All in all, supportive statements of my inclination like, some students makes their career in extra subjects and extra curricular activities teaches many skills are logical with my claim, however their point which says that with only technical knowledge it is very difficult to get job is can not be neglected.
Though the fee structure of the university is high, there is no guarantee for undergraduates to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
workplace after passing out and this led to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
curriculum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a university should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which are useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job. I disagree with the statement to a large extent. My inclination
is justified
in the ensuing paragraphs.

The strongest reason to prove my point is, though field related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are necessary, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to build their career in another field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If learner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to perform well in their interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, which is their hobby too, then they would definitely work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve a goal and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a bright and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
future in
Did you mean "their"?
there
interesting field.
Moreover
, the second reason to pursue my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like, discipline, team work and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world want
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillfull
person even if subjective knowledge is not high, they are ready for higher those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
skilled employees. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
automatically
develops in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who pursue their hobbies.

However
, practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
cannot
be neglected
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without job oriented knowledge, getting a renowned workplace is
next
to impossible. If a person is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
activities, might find difficulties in searching work destination.

All in all, supportive statements of my inclination like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities teaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are logical with my claim,
however
their point which says that with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
technical knowledge it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job is can not
be neglected
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Rising university fees and scares employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts